is it me? it probably is... it usually is... why is it that folks don't have any notion of roles and boundaries? is it a cultural shift? it's an absolute lack of common sense that's for sure. let me explain...
i believe everyone deserves a helping hand when they are down- i am pretty generous in that regard- but i am also not stupid. look, if your family member or friend is able bodied and down on their luck- by all means help them out if you can. if that family member is able bodied and lazy- or can't manage money- cut them off. seriously. it is not your child's inalienable right to live the life you provided for them indefinitely. at some point THEY choose the quality of life they lead. YOU should not be providing for them if they are of age and on their own. and, i firmly believe that you should not be providing for grandchildren either. nope. it's the parents' responsibility.
i know i am going to take flak for this- but people need to take personal responsibility for their own lives and you are not doing them any favors or teaching them anything if you take that responsibility. again, everyone needs some help once in awhile, but if it has become part of your life- cut it out. i read the paper this morning and the advice column had a blurb on a daughter taking care of her parents and brother- in his 40's- because they can't manage money. tough shit. they are all able bodied adults who work- they lose their home- it's on them. perhaps living in the car for awhile without the comforts they enjoyed would drive the point home better.
look, basic shelter, food, water, and clothing are the necessities of human life. anything beyond that is not a right. seriously. people want a certain lifestyle- THEY should earn it. period.