suffering loss feels like getting punched in the gut- it knocks the wind out of you. that's what i felt like when i learned of bro tim's passing. and i feel guilt at not knowing sooner, because i haven't been keeping current on my blog buddies' posts or really even circulating around the blogosphere much lately. i don't know that i have even wrapped my mind around the fact that tim is gone. i have blogging in some capacity for a few years now and in that time, i have found many kind, generous people; people who believe strongly in humanity and fairness and compassion. i have been lucky to belong to this network of bloggers and call them my friends. that isn't something that i take lightly- and anyone who reads here or has read here knows i don't make friends easily. enemies, on the other hand..... ;)
i don't remember exactly when or how i made bro tim's acquaintance- i believe he commented here and that was it- we were off to the races... i made the trip over to his blog and found out he was a 'churchie' but that he had peace signs all over the place and his posts didn't sound like a typical right wing 'churchie.' i was intrigued that he hadn't tried to convert me- and so began our friendship. there is no doubt that tim was a christian- he loved god and jesus and he didn't shy away from that. we talked scriptures and rhetoric and dogma and he didn't mind that i was a heathen at all. he was like that- inclusive. he would go out of his way to understand where i was trying to go in a post- not an easy task especially when i rant and sometimes he would go back to his place and post a response that i couldn't help but agree with.
bro tim was an activist and advocate for all of his god's people- gay, straight and beyond, women, children, minority groups- hell, he even defended the right when he believed they were right on an issue. he didn't back down and he didn't shy away but he was always willing to apologize when he felt he needed to. i admired his courage and conviction--- and integrity.
most recently, we had reconnected on facebook. i think it was a fun place for both of us to leave the ugliness of reality and war and essentially the world's issues for a time and just be. some of my fondest memories will be the strategy sessions for our cafe over the chat and the moments when chat would pop up and he would tell me 'quick, i have a pink cow for you' :) he knew i liked the colored cows the best in farmville. he was my blog buddy and my facebook buddy but most of all- he was my friend. i miss him terribly and there will be a hole in my heart for a long time.
namaste bro tim.