i have felt reflective this week. i haven't posted much but i have been thinking a whole lot. no- it does happen :) i want to encourage everyone to read the links i linked to- i wasn't just being lazy- there is important info in those links that people should know about. and- it is said so much better than i ever could. which is part of what has made me reflective.
part of the reason i studied psychology in college was because i wanted tools to help me understand the inner workings of the human mind. well- good luck with that! relationships are complicated sometimes. teasing out what makes another person think or feel what they do fascinates the hell out of me. i also find it a source of infinite frustration (see the hasselbeck post). for me, life is about peeling back the layers to get to the fruit- getting to the simple, bare essence of things. i don't need the facade or the window dressing- it's why i hate small talk. let's get down to what makes us people- our differences and similarities. our nuances and thought processes. i think it's why i like blogging so much. there is something about getting something into a couple of paragraphs for public consumption- that appeals to me. reading about someone else's thoughts or feelings- or just their perspective on the same issue- is exciting. plus, it gets the creative juices in me flowing.
i enjoy turning over an issue and thinking about it- but i think i tend to be a bit obsessive about things sometimes :) i think too much about it. but that's the way i operate. anyhoo- i got far afield of reflecting and got onto the thinking :) lot of family stuff this weekend for many of us and it brings me around to the whole facade thing again. americans like to make others believe we have it all. our movies reflect perfect suburban lives with the smiling kids and dogs running in the backyard. sigh. the truth is- most of us don't like our family at any given time. oh- we may love them- or we may hate them- but the image projected to the world is 'we are family' (apologies to sister sledge). i don't particularly care for my family. i love my mother and sister- and they are pretty much all of the family on my side that i have. i made the decision years ago not to bother with the others. the mean spirited competition and gossipy back stabbing wasn't my scene. i figured that if i wouldn't be friends with them or have a relationship with them if they weren't family, why bother just because we shared a blood line? so, hubby and i pretty much do the same thing with his family. we hang with the ones we like and keep a relationship- and tolerate the others at family get togethers. can't be helped- he's italian. :)
so- i decided to end a relationship this week. it isn't as traumatic as it sounds in a sentence. if anyone knows me- they know me well enough to know i am impatient with falsity and phoniness- and i try to remain true to my core values and beliefs. if i hold my own family to a certain standard, this person is getting the same standard. they didn't cut it anymore. we grew apart. no hard feelings- it's just a way of life. so- i am not sad.
this memorial weekend- enjoy your family if that's your plan- and at the very least- enjoy the weather :) we are doing home improvement projects- hopefully successful ones :)