open thread friday

i have been feeling a bit moody this week- and i think it's a combination of change in weather (again) and just a general sense of unease. i have a sensitive system- my high school band teacher called me 'high strung' and i tune in on the 'vibes' around me. made for success working with teenagers- not such a good thing to have in my personal life. so, with all of the negativity going on in the nation and indeed, the world, i have been a bit out of sorts with no reason to really put my finger on. i read a bunch of different topics at any given time- because i just enjoy the act of reading. there is something about the written word that is (searching for a word) soothing? i don't know quite how to put words (ironically) around hearing or reading beautiful words strung together. a well written piece of prose- such as the declaration of independence- or poetry- pretty much anything by frost for me :) is uplifting. i think we can all hum or sing along to a beautiful song- even if we aren't in our car or shower :)

anyhoo- i ramble because it's early and i need another cuppa. i am currently finishing up my history book on america's relationship with the middle east from our inception to the present, and i started reading 'the picture of dorian gray' by oscar wilde. it is one of those books i missed out on in high school english but always wanted to get around to reading. now, i haven't read the entire thing yet but it looks like to me that is a book about living life at the expense of others and in pursuit of pleasure. please correct me if this is not the case- i don't want the wrong impression. living life as a spectator with everyone around you as actors on a stage for your amusement with no conscience. sound like anyone we know? which brings me around to the state of the world today and of america in particular.

if you look around and really get beneath the surface, you see an america in crisis. this is no surprise to anyone i am sure. we, as a nation, are at a crossroads in our history that i suggest is just as great as at the time of the civil war. our infrastructure- and who we are as a people- is crumbling. we feel unhappy and in our drive to possess 'life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness' it seems that we have forgotten 2 out of 3. bz's recent post hit the nail on the head when he said that there isn't just happy or just sad- but we are both at any given moment- and americans never want the sad part. without it- you can't experience the happy part. that is where we are now. from folks feeling inadequate at work or because they aren't 'keeping up with the joneses;' to folks who have too much and now have nothing to look forward to- people in america are unhappy. we medicate and spend but that doesn't do it. now, we have this sense of impending doom while sending our loved ones off to die in a war that is senseless- and for the first time since the end of the cold war, we have to really worry about nuclear holocaust.

where am i going? i don't really know. this is more of a ramble i guess. i think what i am trying to say is- that we have ceded too much of our individual power to others. when we do that- it's like we have become part of the borg collective and don't have individual thoughts or feelings anymore. 'groupthink' is dangerous- for both sides of the aisle- and we need to re-empower ourselves individually. we talk all of the time about 'sheeple'- but who are they if they aren't us? there are things that we can do to take back our power- but the people in power don't want us to figure it out. we can live our lives simply and fully in spite of what they tell us. we don't have to spend and medicate or ruin the world we live in. we can take back our homes and our jobs and the people in our lives. we can PARTICIPATE in life instead of merely being a spectator in pursuit of pleasure. they can take away our freedoms and liberties- but they can't kill our ideas. or our words.

james blunt- 'tears and rain'

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.