Friday, October 23, 2009

october reflections

i have spent the last few days in reflection- attempting to parse and catalog feelings, memories and emotions. yeah, that's all :) i really think that our ability to store lifelong memories is one of the traits that makes us uniquely human. many higher cognitive mammals have memories and they have the ability to communicate with sophistication but humans have taken it that one step further.

so, i have been trying to reconcile past, present and future and it's a daunting task. where i am now is being weighed against where i came from and i have been looking towards the future with a bit of trepidation for some time. reconnecting with friends from the past; researching my ancestry; looking at what i have now, and interacting with my family- has been a bit taxing. probably why i got sick and one reason it is lingering.

as i scrolled through my high school choir site and looked at faces that don't match one hundred percent with my memories, it brought home for me that irritating piece of buddhism that i constantly fight- the world and life is in constant change. sigh. chatting with folks i knew well 15 years ago and seeing where their lives took them drove that point home. and here i am- working on contentment within my own life and trying to make a soothing ebb and flow with past and present.

so, life is good but i am still processing how to articulate the synthesis i am experiencing. i suppose i could go all stream of consciousness but i know i have never been a big fan :) so, enjoy the weekend- i will be working on the retro ripple :)

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