when is enough truly enough?
now, that can be taken several ways- but here's where my mind has been going- when is helping others crossing the line into enabling? when do you overstep and instead of building character- you build dependence? i know more than a few families who have a setup this way- helping out the kids even when they are grown with families of their own. i have heard from the lips of a couple of people- 'it isn't the little kids fault and i don't want them to suffer'- um, yes, but that's the life their parents chose for them- and you stepping in and breaching the gap isn't really helping anyone. food, water, shelter, clothing? how much should people give to others- and what constitutes true need?
i was thinking of abandoning blogging because i just don't have politics in me anymore. it doesn't matter to me anymore- but there's something about human nature that nags at me and puzzles me. the one question 'why?' has nagged at me for years and was the biggest reason i went into the business of psychology. biggest reason i got out too because damned if i ever figured it out. you put your hand in fire and get burned- why do you keep putting your hand in the fire? are there really that many masochists in our culture?
oops- that was more than one question :) any answers?
i put this in the comments and then decided to put it out here as it tends to get buried there:
mmmm.... my thought is- you put your hand in the fire once and then you find a different way of doing things :)
to expand on the question- hope is all well and good but you can't continue to be the hamster in the wheel and continue along in the same vein if it's enabling. my thoughts have been more along the lines of parents and grandparents bailing out children and grandchildren time after time...
should you continue to financially support grandchildren if the parents chose a lifestyle where they are unable to provide? should you see that your children and grandchildren have everything that they want so that they don't know want? how long do you support adult children and grandchildren?
i have friends and family in these situations and i am just curious because my thought is- once you are an adult- you have to sink or swim. you get help or a leg up once and then- you change your pattern or you are on your own.