Thursday, August 07, 2008

i am not sure where i belong

but i am seriously beginning to doubt it's this century and in this country. yep, you over there, you guessed it- i went shopping today. now, anyone who reads here regularly pretty much knows i would rather stab myself repeatedly in both eyes with a soup spoon than go to the grocery store- or wal-mart- and well, today, i did both. and i cursed. repeatedly. now, most readers here know that i hail from upstate new york and we generally speaking- have seasons. this is the first week in august and so we have approximately 2 full months of summer left since global climate change. no, not being snarky- for about the last 10 years at least we have had summer like weather well into october. i wore a short sleeved wedding gown when i married my dear husband and it was warm.

but i digress.

so, being that it is pretty much the high point of summer, and being that i just bought a house with a deck and lawn chairs, i thought that i would happen on over to the wall of mart to get some of those nifty cheap plastic outdoor end tables so that folks could set their beer and soda somewhere other than the warped deck (good thing i didn't put any effort into thinking about leveling them out). imagine my surprise when i go and find that the lawn and garden section is being emptied out to make room for--- snow shovels and rock salt. jesus christ in a sidecar. it hasn't snowed much before january in the last 5 years. i am surprised that they didn't have goddamned snow blowers out front instead of lawn mowers. i mean god forbid you want summer wear or outdoor furniture. annoyed is an understatement.

grocery shopping is another ill conceived idea- i mean who enjoys herding into a big food warehouse with skinny aisles and large carts attempting to find the best 'deal' amongst the overpriced, overprocessed, overpackaged crap that passes for food? plus, since i moved on up ala weezie jefferson, i get to shop with folks who really firmly believe that they are god's chosen and that the sun only shines on them. that goes over like a lead balloon too. i make sure i wear my beat up old tie dyed tshirt and i don't shave my legs when i go grocery shopping. that way, if i go with my sister to our old stomping grounds- i blend in. if i go in my new neighborhood- i stand out ;) i have decided that since most of my entertaining is behind me this year- i am going to devote my time to finding alternative food sources because it is getting to be more than i can take.

on slightly more positive note- monsanto is giving up its dairy hormone business. probably to be outsourced to a private contractor under a different name. but, it is a small victory for now :)


Mary said...

Ah you crack me up B! I have to try hard when I go to the grocery store because on a daily basis I don't really brush my hair (just get up and smoosh it in a kind of hair ball. I wear old t's and one of 3 pairs of icky shorts. I DESPISE bras and take them off w/o thinking (there is seriously one right next the computer that I removed since I've been on). How many times have I found myself in the g store and thought dammit I should have put on a bra or brushed my hair etc. Not as brave as you.

Beth said...

I picked up some stuff for the yard begining the first week in July when all the summer things went on sale as the back to school stuff was placed out. School doesn't start until the end of August yet the supplies come out the first of July.....that means one thing. The Christmas stuff comes out in August!!!!!!

The Future Was Yesterday said...

'S one of my big bitches too. We don't get snow of course, so it's all about the holidays. Halloween comes in mid August, Thanksgiving comes as soon after as they can remove the Halloween shit, and restock, and people (literally) work overtime T day night to get all the "thankful" shit down, and the Christmas shit up!..(:

But we're a Christian nation!

Of hypocrites.