for time

time asked me to take a look at a particular post by dennis prager. yes- that dennis prager. i don't read the rightwing bullcrap as a general rule- but time was curious as to what i thought about the article. i am guessing because i have had such a big fit about the hypocrisy and stupidity from high profile women in the media this week. or not. anyhoo- this particular gem was part one of why women are depressed in america. yep. can't wait for part 2- because dennis ties up the first part in a neat bow- with the conclusion that it's the feminist movement's fault that women are unhappy because the feminists encouraged women to have expectations. it is not being able to live up to those expectations that cause women to be depressed.

"Feminism raised women's expectations beyond what life can deliver to the vast majority of them. It was hard enough for women in the past to realize their far fewer expectations of marrying a good man and making a happy family. But feminism told a generation of women that they can not only expect to have that but, perhaps even more important to feminism, they could also expect to have a fulfilling, financially rewarding, society-honoring career.

I wish all Americans could hear the women who call my radio show who tell of how they were raised to believe this feminist promise, and therefore pursued often successful careers while delaying marriage. And now at 35, 40, 45 years of age, they wonder why that career is so unfulfilling and now yearn for a man and family they put off having."

oh- there's more- prager skillfully makes the argument that women are more into relationship building than men- and men depend more on their jobs for their identities- so jobs aren't as fulfilling for women. if that isn't the gist- please correct me in the comments. i don't happen to agree- natch.

it's the old- let's manipulate facts to fit our end conclusion- which since this happens to be a right leaning white man- is that women should be staying at home and minding hearth and family while hubby goes out to work. i can't even get completely bent out of shape because so very many women adhere to this too. i am trying to think of one off the top of my head- oh- right. one only has to listen to the callers for these radio shows- or any of the rightwing hate media crowd and hear this kind of crap spewed forth- i mean- the msm would never promote such idiotic ideologies.

let's face it- this kind of small minded, bigoted thinking wouldn't stand a chance in the progressive movement. and yet, somehow, it survives in the 21st century. here's my thoughts (yeah, yeah finally after the sarcasm): i have a feeling many folks are depressed- whether it be man or woman- not because of feminism but because of consumerism. we have attempted to buy happiness and have neglected our relationships- with each other and this planet. we have lost touch with how to interact with our fellow human beings and we have taken each other for granted- and that's not a gender issue- it's a human issue. women may well be more depressed than men- simply because they do carry much of the household load- but that doesn't mean that men don't feel pressure too. i would like to think that most marriages- or relationships- are partnerships with each partner sharing the burdens of life and carrying out the tasks of living. i have seen men with diaper bags and i have seen chicks checking the oil in the car. my husband and i came to an agreement- he works outside the home and earns the paycheck- because i am antisocial- and i do the rest. that means household management- including the garbage and yardwork. i shovel the walks and take care of my mom. i shop and do laundry- he balances the finances and worries about vehicle upkeep. it works. and some days both of us are depressed.

the issue is not gender roles- it's respecting the other person and people in your life. my guess is- people don't feel respected or feel taken for granted in our consumeristic fast paced society- and that has nothing to do with gender roles or religion- although i am sure that's where prager will end up in the upcoming parts. there's a reason that conservatism is dying- why there is currently only 19% of the folks polled in this country still carrying the torch for this line of thinking- because it's wrong. it has nothing to do with the feminist movement- and everything to do with white male supremacy- and insecurity. most ordinary people get that. most ordinary folks are looking to move forward in the 21st century and wanting to change our thinking and change the way we do things. it is the simplistic, black and white thinking- the nostalgia for a time when women and minorities knew their place and everyone went to church- that has led us down the garden path. we can only move forward- and as scary as that can be- perhaps we are learning that we can do this together. as couples. as a country. as humans sharing this planet.

not that we have much choice- but that's a different post.