Friday, November 16, 2007

second cuppa musings

we had a light dusting of snow last night and i think it had to do more with the fact that it was raining and then got cold- than it just snowed. strange weather we have been having here. so, it occurred to me that folks are going to be getting together- and staying with other folks over the next couple of months- what with holidays and such. it also occurred to me- from personal experience- that some folks don't know how to behave in other folks' homes sometimes. not out of deliberate malice for sure- but speaking before thinking. so i thought i should put some pointers out there for the 'manners challenged' among us.

1) when you are a guest, it is a major faux pas to continuously refer to the host's hometown as 'a dump.' they are usually well aware that the city in which they reside has fallen on hard times. and you sound like a snob.

2) do help out. some folks stay for several days with the host- usually family- and the added people adds up on the work. you may think you don't make much of a mess- but you do.

3) don't make yourself too much at home- it isn't yours. it is ok to be comfy in that spare room- but rearranging the host's things to suit your own- is disrespectful. at least ask.

4) don't monopolize conversations with how much and what you know. conversations are more interesting than long winded monologues. if you are family, chances are, the host has heard your stories over and over and over......

5) while the invitation to use whatever you need is implicit in the invitation to stay, there are certain things off limits- unless asked about. expensive perfumes or soaps or what have you- shouldn't be used unless asked about. basics are usually provided.

6) don't monopolize electronics. uncle joe is going to want to watch football and aunt suzie will want to check her emails once in a while too. plenty of time to do your thing- after you go back home.

7) be mindful of what you say when you say it. you may be joking about folks who ride buses being 'those people' but cousin sarah doesn't find it amusing. she is one of 'those people.'

the rule of thumb is- no matter how comfy you are while visiting- good manners are always appreciated. and- you are just visiting. your hosts live there. to get an invitation back, be a good house guest. not every family member with 'too many things' are as generous about letting others share them.

9 comments:

dawn said...

I agree. Hope all is well and things are moving along. Have a good weekend B!!!!!

Scarlet W. Blue said...

Sounds like you have someone specific in mind. ;)

enigma4ever said...

Hey B.....So hmmm, what an interesting little Emily Post Manners Post....hmmmmm, I do wonder....must be for the Holidays- what with everyone expecting House Guests....and also it is so nice when houseguests give Thanks, whether it be fresh cheesecake or a nice note...just saying ;-)

Have a wonderful weekend....take care....

namaste.

Larry said...

Too bad most don't follow this when they visit.

mirth said...

Agree, these are good reminders for visitors...and some of them, versions of them, apply to blog visitors/commenters as well. ;>

betmo, I am adding you to LM's blogroll and I do it mainly for these 3 reasons:

1. I enjoy and benefit from your comments wherever I read them.

2. Your's is a quality blog, one of depth and thoughtfulness in post material and presentation, and I want my readers to trust that's what they will find on my blogroll.

3. You have the wonderful, even beautiful, photo and quote of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. on your front page.

msliberty said...

Oh, I just loved the first tip. It is so true.

The Future Was Yesterday said...

"we had a light dusting of snow last night and i think it had to do more with the fact that it was raining and then got cold"
At the risk of being impaled upon your razor sharp tongue in these spaces in the future, rain does that when it gets cold - it snows. It has little other choice.:)

The very fact your manners list was even needed...speaks volumes about our social descent.

I want to thank you for your kind support during the last week. It was treasured, believe me!

Spadoman said...

So, this means if I ever do come visit, my first time will be my last time? There is no way I can keep my mouth shut, be neat, stay off the computer, not snoop around the bathroom and eat you out of house and home, (I know about fooding). The only thing I'll have no problem with is watching foorball with Uncle Joe! You better just send me some cookies instead of me coming there to visit to eat some.

Peace to All:-)

betmo said...

thank you to all for coming by- and if you are having guests for the holidays- hahahahahahaha!

mirth- i am honored- thank you. i just want to prove to people that one person's voice can make a difference. we all have voices and each one does a different thing- some are inspirational, others are leaders, others are reason- and so on. putting all of those voices together in a choir makes us stronger- cheesy analogy sure but i have only had one cuppa :)

dan- my darlin' whatever do you mean? :) it has been unseasonably warm here of late and i was shitfully delighted to have had snow. not enough for a snow angel- but it will do.

spadoman- you are always welcomed to visit- i will absolutely let you know when you have outstayed your welcome :) :)