Friday, March 23, 2007
open thread friday
i have been thinking quite a bit about relationships lately- as evidenced by a related post this week. i have always been interested in the complexities and compulsions that make up the human being- why we do what we do. i think that we all have been in a position where we have had a relationship- friend or romantic- or even family- that wasn't right. we have all been in a position of discomfort when we decide we need to extricate ourselves from the relationship. no fun being the jilter.
having said that- i guess i am wondering now- what is it about some folks that they feel that they must hang in there until the last dog with a relationship? sometimes folks claim that they didn't know that the relationship was over. but- what is it that makes up a stalker? or a hanger on? what is it that makes some people ignore non verbal cues that there is no relationship to keep? i know this goes on- i read the paper every day- and a guilty vice of mine is to read the advice columns. somehow- it's always the same advice.
what is it about people that some just keep picking the wrong mate for them? i know that everyone aspires to be the one who is committed to a mate for life- but it rarely happens on the first try. i guess i was wondering that because of john and elizabeth edwards. you probably know by now that her cancer has metastasized into her bones and one doctor mentioned possible spots on her lungs. they have elected to continue the campaign. i can't prove it- but i have a feeling she wants john to continue. i have a feeling that he would have quit outright to be with her. you can dispute the man's politics but you can't dispute his devotion and love for his family. it is written in his face and his whole being.
anyhoo- there isn't anything complex or convoluted about my relationship with my former friend. i don't feel pity or have a superiority complex with her. i live a deliberately small life- and so does she. it isn't the smallness of her life that bothers me- it's her selfishness in life. her whole world revolves around her. when her father passed away before cmas- it was all about her reaction to it. it was about her telling me about how she broke down and how the minister asked her about a few words to say about her dad. nothing about how her elderly mother was doing- or her siblings. in fact, she gets annoyed with me when i ask. so- sarah hit it on the head. you cannot have a relationship that is not based on mutual respect. i think it is the firmest foundation- of friendship and love.