hmmm... i have many things running through my head today. i have been mulling over what a very close friend said to me after i emailed her railing at the recent legislation- that i knew was coming but wanted to hold out hope wasn't. she said- and i paraphrase- we have the government that reflects us. she also said that we need to do more than just talk about stuff- and that we should make changes in our own lives in order to make changes that impact our world. so- i have been thinking about that- because my knee jerk reaction was- 'nuh uh' this government doesn't reflect me. i have been working hard to make a difference. probably true- but obviously what i have been doing hasn't worked. yes, i have kept many of you- and myself- entertained and inspired. to do what? not sure. this is going to be a bit disjointed- i am sure. i am more into a stream of consciousness thing right now. so- my heart is heavy.
my heart is heavy with the burden of mourning. they say that there are like 7 stages of grief- and i don't know what they all are- but i am sure i have felt every one. my heart is grieving for america. as i think about it- i am not sure i know exactly when america ceased to exist in more than name only. when the people of america became selfish and complacent- and affluent. yes- we have more 'lord of the manner' wannabes than anywhere else. this has caused quite a problem here- folks living beyond their means- maxing out credit cards- consumerism and the like. it has also caused folks to hire out jobs that they don't want to take the time to do or don't want to do- lawn work, housekeeping, raising children, running the people's government. you get the idea. so when my friend said to me- we have the government that reflects us- it clicked. i was raised old school. i still iron my husband's shirts because i can't reconcile the idea that i should pay someone to do it- since i am able bodied and can. (fyi- mr. betmo tried to iron and it was a disaster. we try to play to each other's strengths- and that wasn't his)
so- i was ironing the other day listening to a bit of mozart and chopin- nothing in the world more beautiful than a chopin nocturne- unless it's anything written by mozart. i thought about how many americans have never experienced the sheer beauty of music. i mean real music- not pop culture music. they are too entirely different things and each has their place and merit. i mean listening to the strings and the winds play together in harmony and trading melodies. it really lifts your soul. anyway- i started thinking about how base and vulgar our culture is. now- i am not being an elitist here. our landscape is littered with the same generic strip malls and stores whether you are in omaha or boston. doesn't matter- you can always find an applebee's or wal-mart. you won't find homeade cookies in a mom and pop store so much. all of my furniture is pre-fab. why? it's cheap. but i digress. so- what do you get when you put together a sense of entitlement, coarse and vulgar culture, and more money than sense?
the idea that this week's congressional legislation is ok. yes- that's right- there are people in this country who feel that it is just fine that our government has lied, cheated, stolen, blackmailed, threatened, invaded sovereign nations, murdered, imprisoned, tortured, etc.- in the name of america. there are folks in this country who feel that the news only reports the bad stuff and that there should be more reports on good stuff. there is no good stuff. we, the people, lack integrity and common sense. we, the people, have decided to give up our rights as american citizens so that we don't have to be bothered with the responsibility of keeping ourselves safe. we, the people, have ceded our country to despots- and in doing so- we have ceased to be america.
reagan talked about america as a 'shining city on a hill.' america was the ideal, the standard bearer of democracy for the world. we embraced refugees and immigrants from the far reaches of the globe- and people wanted to be like us because we stood for something. we didn't have to force 'democracy' on anyone because people wanted freedom. they wanted what we had- they were hungry for it. apparently, americans are full. if you can set aside the constitution so easily because of fear, then you don't really want your freedoms. many americans from franklin on up have said that far more eloquently than i- but it is true nevertheless. you have the olbermanns, the stewarts, the colberts, and more out there daily- i said daily- saying the things that we should have been shouting since day one. we listen- and then go about our daily lives without it causing a ripple. for those folks who don't think that the legislation willlbe used against americans- i simply say- i never thought we would be having a discussion about torture and indefinite detention either. not in america.
so- i am in mourning. i mourn for my america- full of flaws and mistakes but also full of hope. i don't have that anymore. because too many of my fellow countrymen don't want my america.