the feminine mystique?

i was watching the colbert report on wednesday night (4/19), and stephen had on caitlin flanagan. she apparently writes for the new yorker and has some kind of following. anyway, i watched her and as she was speaking, i turned to my husband and asked, "is she serious?" i wasn't sure. she apparently has a new book out 'to hell with all that' and from what i understand, she is advocating we take society back to a time where men were 'head of household' and women were 'domestic divas.' ok. she also says that women should give it up to their husbands whenever the men want it as a wifely duty type of thing. ok.

as a stay-at-home wife, the biggest thing that i see here is the balance of power. if she was advocating a partnership then, hey, no problemo. she isn't. she is quite firmly saying that men are in charge and women defer to the man. women take care of home and hearth and children- men work outside the home and decide what will happen in life. no deal. when we decided i could work from home and at home, we came to the decision after talking about it. it is a fair trade- i take care of maintanence at the properties we own and do all of the stuff i like to do but my husband doesn't- like garbage. he works 12 or more hours a day at a job he likes and we are both happy. no imbalance of power- just different jobs.

as a woman, i feel that women should be treated as fellow human beings. there is a reason that the women in the 50's rebelled in the 60's against being relegated to housewifery only with limited choices. here's what these 'leave it to beaver' types don't tell you: housework is drudgery. throw in at least a couple of kids to the mix (even if you do love your kids) and it can be days of pure hell. to do that day in and day out without the choice of not doing it- you are inviting disaster. now, i don't see anything wrong with wanting a 'traditional' family if that's your deal. i am just fearful that the right-wing wing nuts are pushing for that to be the mainstream again. there should be an emphasis on rebuilding decent families in america- just not at the total expense of women.