Courage and Conviction in Modern Society

Courage and Conviction in Modern Society

I have been contemplating for weeks now why it is so difficult for people to communicate effectively with each other. I mean seriously- most of us are adults here on this planet and should not be blowing each other up or killing each other over cartoons or differing ideologies. Politics and world issues aside- I am increasingly perplexed at how difficult it is for ordinary people going about their ordinary lives to communicate with each other. More specifically- why is it so difficult for people to tell other people that they no longer want them as friends or lovers. Adding another dimension to that- why is it difficult for people to just go away?

Having been on both ends of the equation- I don’t understand why this is a difficulty. It generally doesn’t take an advanced physics degree to figure out when someone is trying to break off a relationship but what I can’t figure out is why it is so difficult to just come out and say, “ Joe, I don’t want to be with you anymore. We can’t be just friends and I don’t want to call you.” Nothing makes me more annoyed than when person A ends a relationship with person B but doesn’t clue person B in on that fact. Person B tries to contact A but only meets with answering machines or closed front doors. Come on. Why is that ok? I know plenty of people who try to call me and I am simply busy. I have some friends that I only really speak to twice a year. They wouldn’t catch on to that for the next decade. What is it about us that this seems acceptable? I just don’t understand why we can’t just say goodbye.

On the flip side- what is it about us that refuses to take no for an answer? Why do we continue to believe what we want to hear? I have known several people who react that way to things that they don’t want to hear. They continue along pretending that nothing was ever said and I am left to continually remind them of the conversation- or just give up and do what we discussed on my own. There also seems to be alot of couples who stay together for mysterious reasons. They argue and fight and are jealous all of the time- yet- they 'love' each other. What exactly is it that they love? It is obviously not the person's integrity or unique perspective on the world. Don't these people realize that 1) other people can hear them fight and 2) there are millions of other people in this world who are prospective mates? Newsflash- you don't have to be stuck with someone you obviously don't like.

So, I posit the question- why? Why have we as a culture taken this approach? We used to take on the world and not back down to anyone or any challenge. We, as a people, never used to take the cowardly route. What has changed about us and why?