Thursday, December 04, 2008

the perfect gift

at least one person this season has died for it. actually, the poor man died so that folks could go and grab cheaply made electronics and whatnot in a frenzy of must have. i have a guilty pleasure and it's that i buy a couple of women's magazines during cmas for the cmas recipes. i collect recipes apparently- it just seems to happen and i have 8,000 of them. but i digress. so, i bought the most recent issue of woman's day and i started glancing through. usually i skip the articles because generally- they are poorly written about crap that is really stupid. but i saw an article that caught my eye because it seemed relevent to me.

'it's the thought that counts... (the biggest myth about gifts)'

"The only good thing I can say about most recycled gifts is that they usually don’t come from the nearest and dearest in your life.

Because big disappointment gifts do, and they can cause big hurt. What you wanted was a deep expression of love and affection, but what you received didn’t quite hit the bull’s-eye or, worse, failed to even aim for the target. You know the gifts: the silver earrings in a jewelry box perfectly sized to hold a diamond ring, or a key fob from the designer whose purse you’ve been coveting."

now, you can probably guess where i thought that this article was going- but it didn't. turns out it is a whine about how difficult it is to find the perfect gift for people- but how much more difficult it is to graciously accept the crap that people give us at this time of year. yep. truly crass and completely american way of looking at things.

here's the deal vicki- gifts should only be given because the gift giver wants to give them. my thought is- i wouldn't give a gift to you. you are ungrateful and you probably give crappy, pretentious gifts to make yourself feel better about having to give gifts at all. but that is all pure speculation and supposition.

mr. betmo and i decided at least 2 cmases ago that we weren't going to give gifts for occasions anymore. it didn't make sense. why do we have to feel obligated to give you a gift because it's cmas? or your birthday? why can't we give you a gift whenever the hell we feel like it? i understand why gift giving on holidays and whatnot got started- to mark a special day- but see what it has morphed into?

this is the last year i will be sending out homemade goodies too- it is too much of a hassle to bake large scale- and i would rather make little treats throughout the year and not a hundred treats once a year. but i think that the most important gift we can give to anyone or any cause--- time. not just one day a year- but all year round. giving of ourselves costs us nothing but time and it means more than gold. we all have knowledge and skills that we can share and that is more important than a $100 dvd player that will break in 6 months. just something to think about.


jmsjoin said...

Hey you want the recipe for snow crea1 Anyway I have to laugh! My wife gets mad but I do not do gifts! I give all year long when the time is right. Some people though are insecure and need the reinforcement a Xmas gift brings them and I grudgingly accommodate that!

Dave Dubya said...

Too bad most people would just rather have a material gift than another person's time and thoughts.

I have something to give them...the finger.

Unknown said...

We've scaled down "the holidays" in terms of the gifts. We just give one small gift to each other - preferrably $10 or under. And something practical if nothing grabs us as the perfect trinket. We try to keep it local. We do decorate the house and do the big tree thing. Something I could do without but I'm the one who started it with my kids and my step kids grew up similarly. So, I do it for the kids. They value the family time and the festive spirit of the house to big gifts. I think we raised 'em right, if I do say so myself! :-)

With friends are NO obligatory gifts. We do as you do and give whenever it strikes our fancy.

Thanks for the reminder.

Unknown said...

Oh, by the way. I buy a holiday edition of women's magazines every once in while, too. For the recipes. :-) But the one I bought last is several years old. There are so many recipes in it, that it's worth keeping for a while.

Mary said...

Oh gifts. I keep to just my children. I am happy to give them gifts but I mostly want to wake up w/them and spend my day enjoying their company.

I have to keep myself from buying mags for recipes. Too many after 45 years. I got my favorites and I need to stop looking.