Friday, November 30, 2007

making peace- with myself

not to pick on daniel- i love him and his blog to pieces- but he brought up an interesting point in my last post- the diamonds and stones one. he said

'somehow we have to keep looking forward; keep hoping; keep trying to make things better.'

normally, i would kick into fighter mode and come out swinging for the underdog, but i don't think i can this time. i have had a fundamental shift in the way i see things. i don't doubt global warming exists and that it's man-made- and nothing that i have seen in humankind's history suggests to me that we will do anything more than destroy ourselves. the shift in my thinking is- that's not necessarily a bad thing. sure, we have the power within us- and the numbers- to make a change for the better- but we never have and we never do. what exactly is it that i am supposed to look forward to? economic hardships and more war? water drying up and food supplies cut off? what exactly is it i am supposed to hope for? that folks will get their heads out of their collective asses in time to save this species? who am i trying to make things better for? the new crop of people who will continue along in the same vein as the last few thousand years?

my thought is this- and you can call me selfish if you want, it's alright- i am going to live my life as best as i can. i am going to be as environmentally responsible as i can be- as self sufficient as i can be- and as peaceful as i can be. but i am going to do so off of the radar. i have no desire to be labelled a dissenter because i do not want to go off to a secret detention facility where my family never knows what happened to me. my husband and sister will be all i have left when my mother dies- and they both need me. i don't need to hear about more corruption or greed or lying or hypocrisy to know that this country is dying. we, the people, have sucked the goodness out that once was the ideal of america. what we get we deserve- especially the ones who spent $400 on an xbox after standing in line at the store for a week. peace to everyone- i will be attempting to make fudge today- and drink tea. hopefully, today won't be as rocky.


Daniel said...

Hey, Betmo, I feel the way you do at least every second day. I decide to close down my blog at least every third day.

Something keeps me at it even if I know in my more rational moments that it's all a waste of time. Sometimes it's the encouragement of others. Sometimes it's a little win like when we got rid of John Howard last weekend. Sometimes it's knowing that my boy has to live in the world of tomorrow and I can't help but want to make it better for him or at least try to.

Your position, given that you live in America, is understandable. You are a great person!


Spadoman said...

I totally understand you Betmo. I realized a long time ago that this world has been spinning this way for thousands of years. Right now it is the issues you mention, before it was the same things. Pollution of another sort as the chemicals and gasses of today weren't around. War has always been here. And I can go on and on.

In the 1960's there was segregation and then de segregation. Rosa Parks and her story. Things changed. But here in 2007 we have the same shit. The Jena 6, the gay man dragged to his death in Texas, Columbine school shootings.

It is a hallmark of man. When I blog for political change or to call attention to another atrocity, I am simply laying down in my coffin and moaning. It is over and we cannot do anything about it.

So, like you, I try to live in peace. I conserve as best I can and change the things I can, over time, so I can conserve even more.

We may or may not see the end of it all. I have Grandchildren. I wonder what their world will be like. And I am sure that at some point in 1944 occupied France, there was a person who wondered how the world was ever going to survive.

Making fudge will cure many of my problems. Fudge will take away much of the doom and gloom. I'm making Granola.

shawn (aka blogstud) said...

yes, dear b. sometimes it does seem to be 1 step forward and 2 steps back. we have come so far in so many ways but there are still so many left behind.

you have friends in addition to your family. they are people like me who respect and value your opinion. no, none of us can save the world all by ourselves. and as the world heads in one direction it is usually preparing to swing back in the other direction.

I just try to live my life and do the little things that I can do to help. that's all most of us who have to work can do.

have a good weekend and stay warm, b.

enigma4ever said...

just keep blogging the truth...and sharing what matters....we are the Midnight Bloggers , like Paul Revere of another are doing what needs to be done....we don't have time to ask if our country is worth saving...or salvagable.. we just need to have hope and keep slugging away.....that is all that we can do right now....