life's journey

sanity or lack thereof

2012-01-15T09:29:00.003-05:00

i am beginning to think that i am losing my mind again...yeah, whatever peanut gallery...i think i have been spending too much time with my old tv shows and movies and not enough time attempting to assimilate into the current american culture because, quite frankly, i have no frame of reference for it...

perhaps it has always been this way and i have been blissfully ignorant- which, i am willing to admit is true anyway...but i do admit to being confused by the shouts of american exceptionalism being mingled with the 'hey but they do it to us' in regards to war, torture and desecration....

not particularly sure how that gels....but in a country where a bunch of folks fervently believe in shoving their fantasy religion down everyone's throats, well, i shouldn't expect anything else...are we really that obtuse that we proclaim to the world how far above everyone else we are while rolling around in our own piss?

let me tell the folks who are crying foul and supporting the marines who pissed on the enemy; the folks who are standing up for the troops who rape and torture and murder innocent civilians in the middle east and around the globe wherever we have bases of operations....here's the deal...

don't lecture me to lay off being critical of this behavior until you start genuinely supporting the troops- by that i mean not by flag waving and supporting behavior that is not only disgusting but immoral- war or no- support them by pushing the government and fellow taxpayers to insist on paying the folks and their families on time; support them by standing by this country's pledge to provide housing and medical care to them and their families---decent medical care not the subpar bullshit that is passed off onto our veterans...; support them by pushing for our government not to invade foreign countries simply for profit- then we wouldn't have to worry about these folks being brainwashed into thinking that other human beings are objects to be pissed on...

americanism

2012-01-14T19:36:00.002-05:00

so, it has been awhile...but i feel compelled to comment on this because i have been hearing quite a bit of chatter on facebook about it- and, well, as usual i have an opinion...

here it goes- i get it...i understand that the military makes killing machines out of the soldiers we send to invade and conquer other countries- i understand the idea of dehumanizing victims in order to be able to kill them- yep, i totally 'get' the whole war thing...here's what i don't get- the rest of us...

i have been hearing around that it just isn't as big of a deal as abu ghraib- mainly because we are pulling out of afghanistan....not because of torture or anything else and i have been hearing from fellow americans that hey- it's ok because our troops are maligned by liberals and the media and the rest of the world- and hey, nobody had any outrage over mogadishu...

yep...

let me break it down for the folks who are sharing that one brain cell- the folks in afghanistan didn't do a damned thing to us- it wasn't the taliban who was blamed for the 9/11 planes it was al quaida- and while i realize that to you folks all muslims look the same- not so much...we invaded afghanistan to allegedly hunt down bin laden who was killed, i am pretty sure in pakistan, and we never left- and while i certainly don't support religious crazies of any stripe- the taliban is only guilty of killing and maiming and terrorizing the folks in afghanistan...

which brings me around to the pissing on folks you have just killed...if we cheer that- and lord knows we have since 2001- we just can't seem to get enough killing other folks in this country- and we support that on the grounds that they deserved it or we are protecting this country or whatever lame bullshit you can come up with- well, that doesn't make us one whit different than the folks we are slaughtering in the name of freedom does it?

apparently, americans are far too stupid to put that one together...we claim to be the best nation on this planet because we cherish our freedoms- we claim that we are better because we value our freedom and the lives of others and when we cheer and wave the flag at one of our own desecrating another person or torturing another person- well, that doesn't make us better- it makes us hypocritical...

other people around the globe don't dislike us because we are free- they dislike us because we hog up the world's resources and take what we want by force- and after doing that, we apparently piss on the people of the country we invaded...and at home we cheer and reward that behavior....that's why folks don't like us anymore...

hope that one brain cell didn't explode...

yet another food that fooled me

2011-12-20T19:34:00.000-05:00

http://vanessaruns.com/2011/02/08/gmos-and-why-you-should-never-use-canola-oil/

truth

2011-12-16T07:16:00.000-05:00

swiped from my buddy john- we only have one life to live

election day musings

2011-11-08T19:38:00.003-05:00

or should i say (s)election day musings.....we have the best candidates money can buy because the folks who want to run who aren't rich or richly sponsored- aren't voted for...

i know that there are folks out there who honestly believe that voting makes a difference- that america is still a land of freedoms and choices...and that's ok because that fantasy helps make reality more palatable...it's why folks believe in god i suppose...

looking at what is real- curfews, police beating americans, americans being detained for massing, americans being jailed for gathering, women's rights eroded daily at a local, state and federal level, americans being detained for being non white and of spanish descent...

i could go on and on...but the picture is clear enough- the natives are growing restless because many americans from all walks of life- right, left, center, young, old, white, non white, male and female- are realizing that america isn't america...the democratic ideal is a sham- just as there is no 'american dream' with a white picket fence there isn't a democracy that welcomes the tired and poor from elsewhere to be free

hell, we don't even welcome our own tired and poor- all 50 million of us and the illusion of freedom is simply that- illusion. for some reason unknown to me- folks here don't easily extrapolate things- like the fact that america is renditioning folks in other countries and detaining them indefinitely and has the power to do so to fellow americans- and in fact is....the police brutality towards demonstrators around the country was shocking to many- why? we americans don't really give a rat's ass about anyone else as long as it doesn't touch us and our immediate circle- but civil liberties can be taken from anyone and we don't have real rule of law here anymore...

anyhoo, the ruling class is getting nervous- and they think they know us sheeple pretty well, and perhaps they do...winter is coming and many states will see the occupiers go home- if they have one- and the ruling class will breath a sigh of relief because they know that we'll take out our frustrations at the ballot box- and they feel pretty secure about that outcome...

Finding Freedom in Handcuffs | Truthout

2011-11-07T17:13:00.000-05:00

Finding Freedom in Handcuffs | Truthout

"We seemed to have lost, at least until the advent of the Occupy Wall Street movement, not only all personal responsibility but all capacity for personal judgment. Corporate culture absolves all of responsibility. This is part of its appeal. It relieves all from moral choice."

too true

2011-11-01T19:56:00.001-04:00

clever

2011-10-16T09:34:00.002-04:00

h/t to john good :)

some days are stones

2011-10-12T19:37:00.002-04:00

there are days when life's journey is a tough path to travel...today is one of those days...a friend and colleague passed away suddenly last night and left behind a wife and young son...we don't know why yet. my husband and i are saddened beyond description...

most folks don't know what to say when other folks are experiencing the to-the-core pain loss inflicts- whether it be loss of things or loved ones...and i completely understand...there are no words to express- in any language- and indeed they seem to just get in the way...but as painful as it is- we should embrace the emotions and feel them to the max- because to do so is what makes us human...

these emotions combined with joy and happiness are yin and yang imo and we cannot fully express our humanity without both...and, john denver hit it on the head when he wrote 'some days are diamonds- some days are stones...'

life

2011-10-10T20:01:00.001-04:00

my small one

2011-10-10T07:16:00.001-04:00

i lost my sophie sept. 26. it has been a tough row to hoe...i miss you soph angel...

yeah- what he said

2011-09-14T07:26:00.000-04:00

one of the best blog posts in a long time...

life in my neck of the woods

2011-09-12T18:09:00.004-04:00

this is reality for many here in the upstate new york area- my neck of the woods is out of the woods right now as far as water and what not...but the clean up begins...my family was lucky- our homes and lives are intact and i can go to work still and keep on keepin' on...which sort of makes the whole thing surreal...my life is the same but driving over to binghamton and seeing mud lines half way up the trees...well, it's weird...

reflections

2011-09-12T07:31:00.004-04:00

i don't 'celebrate' or take part in the 'remembrances' of 9/11/01 and i never will. yep. sounds harsh but it isn't because i am callous or think less of the people who were killed. the whole 'ground zero' thing is a farce exploited by people who choose to rule from fear and want to keep that fearful seed planted firmly in the minds of their minions...we are special- we are under constant threat...

you'll excuse me if i laugh right out loud at the alleged 'terrorist threat' around the 9/11 events in new york city...i mean the real threat was upstate and it is called mother nature...i am surrounded by 30 feet of flood waters that are destroying the lives of thousands of my neighbors and i get to hear people piously intoning 'we will never forget'

whatever...they'll forget as soon as the next 'terrorist attack' happens...anyone ever hear about the oklahoma city bombing? the pan am flight 103 attack? nope...happened 15-20 years ago so it doesn't count anymore i guess....although we are in year 10 of the terrorist bullshit so i guess that's no excuse...

a nice lady wrote a fantastic piece that pretty much sums up my feelings on america and this whole shell of a country that we live in... my country died a long time ago but i didn't realize it fully until 9/11...i suppose that's what i remember each year around this time....

told ya so....

2011-09-04T18:55:00.003-04:00

when the bloggers in my circle discussed any of this- we were branded all sorts of derogatory names...guess what?

We Told You So...

too bad it has taken the country to fall down completely for anyone on the right to have the balls to stand up publicly and lay it all out...the ones who came before Lofgren were skewered before they barely got to print....

i really hate summer

2011-08-31T17:49:00.001-04:00

i think that's all that needs to be said...

The Grubby Species | Common Dreams

2011-08-20T15:08:00.000-04:00

The Grubby Species | Common Dreams

wow- one article accurately describes what i have been trying to for years....

trust me

2011-08-16T20:05:00.002-04:00

the longer i live on this planet, the more it becomes abundantly clear that you cannot escape your past. it sounds cliche` but it is really true. i moved away from my hometown years ago and over the course of the last two months, i have been there more than in the previous 15 years or so...and the shack i called home and thought i had left for good- well, i still will have to deal with it as my parents still own it...

trust me when i say that you don't do your children a service by leaving them something...all parents want to- whether it be money or property or stuff...do your children a true favor and don't. really. the money is taxable, the property is a hassle to sell and the stuff either collects dust or ends up donated or thrown away...

believe when i say that your children would be more grateful if you made arrangements for your passing ahead of time and took care of the hows and whats before you pass...use your money for your retirement and probable health care needs so as not to burden them with the debt- really...

i don't want a single thing that my parents or my husband's parents have- not one. the fact that we have relationships with our parents on whatever level is enough for me...it is not a kindness or a help to your kids to leave them anything...memories- good ones without regrets- are more than enough...

greed is god...god is greed

2011-08-06T20:46:00.004-04:00

i have not been following the 'debt ceiling' debacle with any kind of, well, anything...it surprises me not that any of this has happened because there were many of us years ago seeing the writing on the wall and no one wanted to listen...such is life...

i do find it ironic that congress scooted out of town on their vacation without funding the faa...i mean after passing all sorts of bullshit laws making people take off their shoes, be screened through metal detectors and new fangled porn makers- i mean body scanners- and pour all of their shampoo and conditioner into 2 oz bottles- they don't even have the decency to fund the faa...but hey as john mellancamp sings 'ain't that america'?

i frequent facebook to play the games over there- i am not one of those who go there simply to connect with the past and look up lost friendships- i actually do the opposite because i figure the folks in my past are there for a reason...if it's one thing i have learned in my 40 years on the planet- you can't go home again...life changes...anyhoo, there are the same types of crap that spread like wildfire that used to on the blogs- the 'post this' and 'post that' chain letter type deals and i post some that are tongue in cheek sometimes...

there's one going around now about saying the pledge of allegiance...hang on i'll cut and paste it...good lord, had to look through a lot of posts...

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!

MY GENERATION GREW UP RECITING THIS EVERY MORNING IN SCHOOL WITH MY HAND ON MY HEART. THEY NO LONGER DO THAT FOR FEAR OF OFFENDING SOMEONE!

LET'S SEE HOW MANY AMERICANS WILL RE-POST THIS AND NOT CARE ABOUT OFFENDING SOMEBODY

yeah, here's the thing- i don't recite the pledge and i don't sing the anthem- i don't believe in what my country has become. this isn't about offending anyone- it's about not believing in the sham and show that standing together at sports events while eating a hot dog and guzzling a beer has become. greed and selfishness rules this country- it's the single biggest reason that we are in the shape we are in- from the debt ceiling to the health care crisis- and why should i want to honor that? it goes against everything i was taught that america stands for- and it would be an outright lie for me to 1) pray in church if i had to go and 2) recite the words to the pledge of allegiance and lie.

there is no republic of america. we are not one nation and the founding fathers did not put that we were under god- which we aren't. most people in this country don't take the time to understand what those words mean or what they stand for. most americans have never read the constitution beyond the preamble- and certainly don't have any idea what the document says except from right wing media bites...

so, no, i won't pledge allegiance to the american flag or to the current incarnation of america herself. i won't sing an anthem that was swiped from a british drinking song- it's ludicrous and the words are about as meaningful as the pledge.

we currently have a representative government- oh, folks bitch and complain but the critters in our government are products of our shoddy education system; of our outdated and outmoded belief in meaningless nationalism and religion; and are as selfish and greedy as everyday americans.

harsh? every talk to your co-worker or neighbor or family member about giving every american access to basic education and health care as a basic human right? i have. many times. i keep getting the same response from these 'all american christian' folks- we should all pay our own way and if you can't- then you aren't working hard enough and you are probably on welfare...if you apply yourself in school- you can be anything and if you are smart enough you should get scholarships...or don't go...

yep. guess that's why so many other countries in the world beat us out with standard of living and longevity. there are many countries on this planet that educate all of their people and give them preventive medicine...and those are the countries that make it to the top tier of worldwide standards of living...

life's a journey not a destination

2011-07-31T22:07:00.001-04:00

life as usual

2011-07-30T22:34:00.002-04:00

life is fairly complex and i have been slapped in the face with that quite frequently lately- although i do constantly remind myself that it's a journey not a destination :) nothing gets simpler as i get older even though it's probably my fondest wish- outside of wanting the human race to grow the fuck up and stop being greedy and killing each other...but that's a horse of a different color...

continuing to navigate family and feelings and whatnot as i reluctantly assist my father through convalescence. just when you thought you had made peace with yourself- many of the triggers from your youth come back to bite you in the ass...coupled with the fact that summers are the worst time of year for my mother who has bad heart and lungs...sigh...

there is one theme that keeps running through my mind in the wake of my personal crap and the norway murders and the current tea bag fiasco in what is congress in name only- and that is:

americans still need to wake up and smell the coffee...

look, our house of cards is falling- there are no more band aid fixes or pretending that we are the greatest country on the planet. if you look at the numbers- norway is way better. we pretend that we have the greatest system of government and that our standard of living is the best and that our health care system is the best and education and whatnot... i am here to tell you that it's a load of bullshit that would sink the titanic...

navigating the health care system in this country is a fucking nightmare- complicated needlessly because of the endless layers of greedy bastards who want to make a buck on people who need care. everywhere you turn there are layers upon layers of people who make their living off of other people...is it any wonder we are in trouble? the debt debacle is truly representative of this country- how many americans live beyond their means using credit only to default and declare bankruptcy? housing bubble anyone?

the long slow slide is over- we are sinking and we will never be able to pull ourselves up as a nation that is anything other than a has been...other countries still look to us economically because we are all entwined but really, our heyday is long past...we are at the crossroads and we have a choice ahead of us

1) continue on the same path burying our heads in the sand and pretending with all of our might that life can go on as it always has or

2) roll up our sleeves and get dirty and start making some hard choices- not the least of which is rediscovering our roll in this country as the employers of the rat bastards in government. we can no longer afford to 'hire it done'- we are going to have to relearn how to mow our own lawns, paint our own houses and pay as we go...we have to relearn what civics means and the fact that our democracy will only be as good as our involvement makes it be... and we need to relearn what our founding fathers realized- every now and again- we need a revolution...

h/t to dan'l

2011-07-23T09:00:00.003-04:00

betty ford's funeral

2011-07-13T17:52:00.002-04:00

um....not sure when dubya became a first lady but different strokes for different folks...

i am again perplexed

2011-06-04T16:18:00.003-04:00

i think it must be me- because it irritates the shit out of me that we have memorial day. not because i think that we shouldn't honor folks- but because i continuously hear that we are honoring those who died to keep us free. free from what? with the exception of the civil war and world war 2- the wars america sacrificed lives to were for profit. perhaps we should stop being disingenuous and start saying that we are honoring folks whose lives were thrown away for corporatist greed...

something i can get behind

2011-05-11T19:44:00.000-04:00

we need to spread the common sense around...

why i blogged for so long

2011-03-14T20:36:00.002-04:00

to let people in america- and around the world- know that there are those of us who understand what democracy and freedom is supposed to be and who aren't stupid like the right wing morons who hang on newt gingrich's every word and follow palin around like she's a princess... there are those of us who aren't stupid enough to believe in a being that doesn't exist- and even if we did- we wouldn't attempt to convert people who didn't simply to keep our own dysfunctional construct in place...

i blogged so that folks would understand that there are americans in this country who screamed at the top of our lungs while our country was taken over and made into a corporatocracy- and would have been on the front lines of any battle waged to take it back... and now, because there wasn't a big enough movement- we have too little too late in the midwest- i get to simply say 'i told you so' without anything even remotely approaching satisfaction...

and i give huge hugs to chris hedges who has a gift that i can only dream of:

"The liberal class is discovering what happens when you tolerate the intolerant. Let hate speech pollute the airways. Let corporations buy up your courts and state and federal legislative bodies. Let the Christian religion be manipulated by charlatans to demonize Muslims, gays and intellectuals, discredit science and become a source of personal enrichment. Let unions wither under corporate assault. Let social services and public education be stripped of funding. Let Wall Street loot the national treasury with impunity. Let sleazy con artists use lies and deception to carry out unethical sting operations on tottering liberal institutions, and you roll out the welcome mat for fascism."

he is still out there telling it like it is as if it is going to make a tinker's damn...

just some perusing the news....

2011-03-08T21:38:00.004-05:00

i posted in my last post about dr. hillman's idea that we don't know what's going on beneath the veneer of 'americana'- and he was right... my thought is that nothing scares the bejeezus out of the ruling class more than well educated, thinking, compassionate human beings...and i, for one, am tired of those who are ignorant, selfish bastards... but i digress...

my mom started me on the blogging journey because she would hear things on the news that didn't add up and she would put me on the hunt- 'can you google this?' was her standard question and i would dutifully oblige and i learned to use the new fangled internet...i had no idea what kind of power we bloggers would wield and what kind of power that phones with internet capability would have- so, at this point in my life it comes as no surprise that the internet has taken on a new kind of power... there are folks out there that make the corporates and the militarists and the fat cat ruling class realllly nervous- they young, techno savvy folks who think outside the box and who think in code... these young people are fearless and smart and maybe our best chance at taking these folks down...

my other notion is that perhaps america is waking up a bit from it's orgy of consumerism...folks across the country have been roundly thumping down some of the more egregious stupidity from the right- union busting, repealing health care and i am crossing my fingers that they may begin taking on the sacred cow of education... fingers crossed...

it is my belief that your country is only as good as its people- and from what i can see- we have been a pretty sucktacular people... until we can take a hard look at the facts of our america- we won't be able to fix it. it is my belief that america can't be 'fixed' in the same way we remember it in our folklore- we have a hard road ahead and our empire days are waning but if we can regroup- we can salvage what we have left and perhaps build anew...

we have to realize that we can't make jobs on the backs of others- small government can't be a reality no matter how much the right wing wants it simply because the government exists to create jobs; we can't cut welfare and human services simply because it exists to perpetuate jobs- not to help people; ditto with our education and health care system- and the creation of homeland security has opened up swaths of career opportunities for the military industrial machine... don't get me started on the privatization of the penal system....

the reality is- america may have more money than many countries in the world but we definitely aren't the richest- we have lost our compass as a people... perhaps the government never had one but we, the people, believed in our country as a guiding light of freedom in the world...we won't be able to truly realize that belief until we recognize that all human beings are people (in spite of how i feel about cheney and rumsfeld) and we recognize that all human beings should have access to basic human rights- life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness...

the end of an empire

2011-03-05T17:26:00.003-05:00

i don't have the inclination to look back through my posts to find the ones i have written on the fall of the american empire...but they are there...i have also written about the 'feeling' we have that the 'other shoe is about to drop' but we don't know how or when...i have written ad nauseum about how america is not exceptional anymore and that we are simply an upper middle class member of a new global society- and i have written that we have to wake up and smell the coffee about this...

looks like i have good company on that idea...

i really wish i could spin the wheel of time and go back to america's 'golden age'- whatever that was...the funny thing about periods of peace and prosperity is- it's only that way for some- so that i wouldn't have to deal with what's coming. but... i can't...i have to suck it up and deal with it as adults do- while wishing fervently that human nature would be different this time and we would do the right thing for once instead of viewing our fellow human beings- and everything else on this planet- as a commodity.

capitalism doesn't work... most 'isms' don't. not exclusively anyway... blending the good parts of the various isms seems to work fine though- but greed and that pesky human need to believe that we are better than everyone else always get in the way..

words of truth

2011-02-28T19:11:00.002-05:00

i hope there are more people listening this go 'round....

thank you chris hedges for continuing to speak the truth and to find the truth when we need it...

"Our political system is as broken and dysfunctional as that once presided over in Egypt by Hosni Mubarak. We must be willing to accept personal discomfort, to put our bodies in the way of the machine, if we hope to expose the lies of war and blunt the abuse by corporate profiteers."

h/t to dan'l

2011-02-09T08:09:00.002-05:00

so true...

2011-01-20T08:10:00.000-05:00

"From that moment on, I was no longer a liberal, a believer in the self-correcting character of American democracy. I was a radical, believing that something fundamental was wrong in this country - not just the existence of poverty amidst great wealth, not just the horrible treatment of black people, but something rotten at the root. The situation required not just a new president or new laws, but an uprooting of the old order, the introduction of a new kind of society - cooperative, peaceful, egalitarian."

-Howard Zinn, from his 1994 memoir, "You Can’t Be Neutral on a Moving Train"

living in america

2011-01-08T20:11:00.002-05:00

people in america- i should say many people here in america- have their heads in the sand. they aren't interested in politics and they aren't interested in much more than living their lives- going to work, shop, shop, shopping along popping out accessory children and generally jamming their heads up their collective asses. they pretend that america is a democracy and that there are folks on the fringe that do crazy things but will go away. these same people believe that profiling and armed patrols within american borders by our military are ok; these people believe that mistreating large swaths of the planet and within our borders is ok- and they believe that being strip searched physically and electronically in our airports is necessary 'for safety reasons.'

look, life isn't 100% foolproof and we all end up with a dirt nap in the end. we can't live forever and we can't take anything with us when we die. in a free society, people take risks to live free. being free means everyone gets to live in freedom- not just certain groups. it means that some of us will be killed or taken advantage of. democracy means power of the people- and if we, the people, of america allow our fellow citizens to take that from us- then we don't really have a democracy.

i have stated this before- the right is at war with the rest of us. they don't rest and they don't give a shit about anything other than their own agenda. sarah palin is taking the rap for the entire tea party but they all believe the same way- they hate the left and don't care a bit about killing us to get what they want. and they won't go away..... they will make us capitulate first... or die... and it's that simple...

life

2010-10-28T17:34:00.002-04:00

the silly season has a way of pulling me in different directions at the same time. i don't follow or pay much attention to politics these days- i view the entire electoral system as irrevocably broken and there's really no sense in participating in what is largely a sham. when more folks realize that the deck is stacked against us and in favor of the ruling class, perhaps we can make some meaningful change in that arena.

i don't intend to hold my hand on my ass waiting for that to happen....

anyhoo, the world continues to spin on it's axis and my life motors along and i will deal with whatever comes my way and try to live each moment gratefully and meaningfully- and probably fall far short of that.... but i'll try anyway. what i have learned from my short time on the planet is- human nature simply does not change. it doesn't. we have inhabited this planet for a few thousand years now ;) and as far back as we know in what's left of human history- we haven't really evolved.

oh, we live in nicer homes and have made life more convenient and pleasant for ourselves- at least in the western world... but the essence of humanity has not changed. i am currently reading 'the iliad' and i watched a 'secrets of the dead' program on pbs last night that detailed the last hours of pompeii and herculaneum when vesuvius erupted in 79 AD- people are people. the same types of petty bickering, the same fearful chaotic panic in a crisis, the same hunger for war and conquest amongst some and the weary desire for peace for the rest... yep.... same.

it's lofty to hold the ideal that in 'modern' times humans have evolved into enlightened beings. we haven't. and in fact, our own technology is being used against us by the war mongering power junkies. so, i have largely stayed out of everything. there is no point. the only time i call anyone out at work or in my private life is when they are parroting flat out lies. you cannot change hearts and minds. not in people who are willfully clinging to the past and to a way of life that is comforting to them. it's like their life preserver and they are not going to let go.

so, i go to work and come home and play facebook games and crochet and then do it all over again.... and so it goes.....

h/t to al haug

2010-10-24T20:58:00.000-04:00

2010-09-04T16:14:00.002-04:00

ooh- let me just say that i love discovering van morrison's music. i am working my way through the 1970's right now and i recently bought 'hard nose the highway' and 'veedon fleece'- saint dominic's preview is next on the list :) those particular cds have turned out to be perfect for the transition of summer into autumn. it is really tough to describe listening to each song for the first time and letting the lyrics and music wash over. so- i won't. i'll just encourage folks to listen when they can because the man is a master. he has been since day one. indeed.

summer winding down

2010-08-31T08:01:00.002-04:00

i am grateful that we are going into autumn. i don't like wishing my life away, but this summer stunk here in my neck of the northeast. the garden didn't do much of anything and i think my father hit it on the head with there weren't enough bees to pollinate this year. my squash flowered and flowered but i have no squash. anyhoo, the heat and humidity have just sucked the life out of me and many other folks- we are not equipped to deal with it. unlike the south, most of us do not have central air- usually fans and an occasional window unit. not pleasant....

americans continue to annoy me with their denial of what is. and what is most disheartening is how mean spirited many are. the obtuse bigotry and stubborn fear of change while clinging to the sinking ship of christianity- well, it is genuinely mind blowing to me. ignorance is ignorance- i don't care if you are white, green or purple. seriously. and the amount of folks who take dubya and caribou barbie seriously and hang on their words- well, that is again, mind blowing to me.

i suppose if you are so fear based, you can't and won't see the forest through the trees. i wish that we could simply dismiss these people as the stupids that they are but unfortunately, there are lots and lots of them and they won't go away. sigh. so, winding down my summer, i have yard stuff to finish and my crochet room to ready for the colder weather. if you can't beat 'em, hunker down somewhere and keep safe. it's the best advice i can offer if we aren't willing to smash them down en masse. vive` la revolution!

online presence

2010-08-25T20:13:00.002-04:00

or is it presents? ;) to the couple of folks who have the blog still in their reader... hey thanks :) probably should clean mine up a bit... i have absolutely no enthusiasm nor do i have any illusions about the upcoming elections- this november and beyond. look, the angry white american is scared shitless about everything and is going to vote tea party all the way. translation- bigots and racists and supremacists, oh my!

or maybe the right wing mainstream media is simply painting it that way- i mean only 150 folks showed up at our local binghamton tea party rally. but i do know that there seems to be an awful lot of folks who are still thinking we are in the cheney/bush era and think it's ok to force their conservative, christian values of narrow minded hatred down everyone's throat. and the rest of us shrug and yawn and continue about our merry way.....

but my buddy dan'l tells me i over generalize- so perhaps i am :) feelin' a bit spicy today....

sniff, sniff....it's that time of year

2010-08-13T17:43:00.002-04:00

must be election time again because the DNC is trying to shake me down for a contribution. uh huh... here's my response:

"the democratic party has a problem with politics as usual. not much has changed in america with respect to reinstating civil liberties; updating the nation's energy infrastructure to green, or combating the lunacy of the right wing obstructionists. we left wing 'drug addicts' who dare to be critical most likely will vote 3rd party and damned sure won't contribute.'

oh, and fyi dumbocrats- we have a one party ruling class and not a two party representative democracy. seriously.....

gainful employment

2010-07-16T17:51:00.002-04:00

i have always been irritated by the question 'so, what do you do?' or 'where do you work?' because i had not been in the workforce for a bit and it implies that i sat around eating bon bons and watching soap operas because i didn't work for someone else. it still irritates me. i suppose it irritates me because i view much work as busy work. there was a time in the not too distant past- around the turn of the last century and even into the middle of the last century- when people took care of themselves. they often worked outside the home in order to make money but they took care of their own homes and food and whatnot. it's what got america through the last great depression. i am not optimistic about this next one...

people complain about there not being enough jobs but there are more people than jobs. i mean really- do the math.... too many folks enjoy living like they are independently wealthy and the work they do is simply to make money- some jobs exist only to do that. take my new job for example...

office administrator.... sigh....yep.... my tomato plants are not even knee high and i haven't seen a single squash amidst the flowers and the fam's yard is beginning to resemble the amazon rain forest because i haven't been able to mow and weed properly- but damn it! the fed ex goes out before 5:30p and all the files are filed and the mail sorted and whatnot... sigh... and it is a means to more than one end... i am helping my husband and he is happy and the money will be slotted for the stuff we were putting on hold so i can't really complain. if i have to work simply to work like a hamster in a wheel- at least i am doing it for someone i love...

so, that's my world for the last couple of weeks... jumping back into the fray while trying to maintain the world i created while out of the fray... will keep everyone posted as i can...

facebook and me

2010-07-04T17:56:00.002-04:00

many folks join facebook for the oh, socializing aspects of it i suppose- and the ability to find just about anyone you are looking for on the planet. of that, folks should be careful- you might just well find them :) of course, that's what the 'hide' function is for.... but that isn't my point...

i have met the nicest strangers while on facebook. i really can't complain. i originally set out to 'friend' all of my blog buddies and for the most part, i was lucky enough to do so. my blog buddies are the ones who encouraged me in my video game addiction- well, one buddy in particular (and bro tim knew who he was :)- and told me to go out and just randomly friend people for the particular game i was playing. lord knows i was short of neighbors then for farmville :)

now, a few hundred neighbors and practically the entire zynga nation later, i have to say, you can tell quite a bit about a person by the way they play a game. i have met more generous people lately than i thought existed. folks who give away gifts when they could sell them to add to their electronic coin stash- folks who genuinely connect with each other over the chat waves.

it's almost as good as blogging :) almost, because there isn't a forum or the format for any lengthy writing on facebook. it's instant gratification instead of a leisurely stroll. but, at least i can link to my chit chatting over here- so it's all good :)

accountability

2010-06-28T19:04:00.003-04:00

not a word much used these days- from the speeder who cuts you off in traffic; to the local pastor fondling pre-teen parishioners; to state officials caught peddling prostitutes; to the federal government who starts illegal wars for profit- no one feels accountable anymore. here in new york state, the budget woes and tax burden is not something to be envied, and yet, for more years than not, the state budget has been late without a squawk from new yorkers. we shrug and complain and go about our daily routines. lately, the miracle cure is 'marcellus shale' as if this will be the answer to all of our problems. my thought is perhaps new yorkers should stop looking for a quick 'drill, baby drill' fix to the tax burden and take a tougher look at the root cause of it. we need to make difficult decisions and the truth is- we don't have a representative government in albany. what we need to do is take the knife to the bloated systems that exist solely to perpetuate jobs and decide whether we need streets with curbs or a generous social services package. seriously.

i have been thinking quite a bit about accountability lately because i can't wrap my mind around the fact that it has become so commonplace for americans to simply give in without a peep to bullies and loud mouths and so called 'experts.' i haven't quite decided whether it's gullibility or guilt or i don't even know...

america was a great idea for a long time- and it worked for most because the citizens maintained the system. now, i know that there were severe flaws- i mean women have only had the right to vote since.... 1920. that's what really blows my mind that so many young people simply assume that they will always have their rights because they always have. they nod and smile when told that they really need to maintain and continue to fight to keep the civil liberties americans used to enjoy under the constitution. within the span of a decade, the very essence and core of american democracy has been eroded down to a nub. we live under a facade of rights- not the actual rights.

any american who still believes that they have a right to privacy or are protected from unlawful search and seizure hasn't been paying attention to the congress or the supreme court within the last few years- and indeed the last couple of months. yes, we can hop in our cars and speed down the highway and cut someone off in traffic with impunity- but we can also have our computers and phones and mail monitored without us even knowing. we can also be taken from our homes and no one need be notified and we don't have to be mirandized or allowed counsel indefinitely. did i mention we can be held indefinitely too......

so, as the fourth of july approaches, i wonder if there really is an america under the cheap, patriotic bbq facade. after the beer buzzes fade and the smoke from the fireworks clears, will most americans understand what they were supposedly celebrating? will they understand that we do not have a representative government on any level anymore? will they understand that chief responsibility of every citizen in a democracy is to hold their governments accountable?

even our upper middle class, white, landowner, slave owner founding fathers got that...

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights,^[71] that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security."

but i have a feeling that most americans wouldn't even know where those words came from, let alone have read the document through more than once half assedly in their 10th grade civics class. see, we don't want to be held accountable so we can't very well hold anyone else accountable. and, hey, history is boring right? i mean otherwise we would have recognized that the banking collapses and the basic implosion of our economic systems mirrored that of the 1920's.... or that tyranny usually comes from within one's own nation- and that corporates rarely have the 'small people's' welfare at heart...

but, hey, don't let me rain on your bbq- and while i realize that it's your land to do with what you like, with a record like the energy companies have- whether it be digging for oil or natural gas, you don't really get to do what you like. there comes a time when the rest of us need to stand up and say- shut the fuck up and sit down- people who have half a brain need to be heard now...

god smote me down

2010-06-28T15:10:00.002-04:00

i have a bit of an idea of how job felt- minus the boils.... i have been absolutely miserable for the last few days with post nasal drip, sore throat, cough, and swollen glands the size of bull testicles... sigh... i have a feeling that god must be angry with me- i mean how else to explain it other than 'an act of god?' i must admit i have skewered the right quite a bit for their hypocritical, single minded, bigoted, terroristic, dog like devotion to fascist ideology...

oh. shit. i'm not going to get better any time soon am i?

i suppose god is sore at me for skewering the left- that paragon of acquiescing to all things right while embracing the power sucking abilities left behind by their right wing predecessors.....

oh. shit. i'm not going to get better any time soon am i?

america has been america for oh, about 234 years or so- in fact, her 'birthday' is coming up this weekend. it's the holiday where americans can celebrate their independence from british petrolueum- um, i mean the british east india company- um i mean the british empire.... and bask in the knowledge that because a small group of upper middle class merchants didn't want to pay their taxes anymore, they hatched a carefully planned, spontaneous plot dressed as the evil red terrorist hordes to dump a whole boatload of tea out of hundreds- into boston harbor under cover of darkness....

yep. i'm not going to get better any time soon am i?

some of those upper middle class, landowning, slave owning, white guys decided to pen these immortal words to get the whole ball of wax rolling:

'when in the course of human events, it becomes necessary to seize control of your government so that you can assume 100% of the profits from taxing the 'little people', you should do so but only by using ill trained, expendable citizen soldiers to fight for that in your stead.'

or something like that. good to see not much has changed in the last 234 years....

since i know i am not going to get better any time soon, i guess i had better go make some hot..... tea.

gonna be unpopular for sure

2010-06-24T16:59:00.002-04:00

but i have little sympathy for the red state, republican- let's deregulate everything and shrink government agencies to nothing gulf coast region. sorry that your tourism and whatnot is now gone but hey, maybe ya'll can pray it ok again.... just sayin' that you reap what you sow... or in right wing bible thumper talk- hey, it was an act of god.....

random thoughts...

2010-06-03T16:34:00.002-04:00

got some garden going and landscaping and whatnot... it's a mixed bag so far as nothing looks real nice at this point. perennials take time to get established and re-established and garden plants are hit or miss getting going... sigh... at least it's good exercise... anyhoo, i have been thinking quite a bit about helping people. there's a part of me that believes that folks sometimes need a helping hand when they are down and that there is no reason that we can't provide basic human necessities for everyone in this country. then, there's the part of me that worked in human services and saw how useless most of the 'helpful services' were- substance abusers and child abusers are abusers- and they aren't interested in help- simply a handout. so, riff raff moved into a rental across the street from the fam and since the police are there every other day or so- mom has been treating it like an episode of 'cops.' the decent neighbors in the neighborhood are not keeping pace with the riff raff these days i am afraid and i have already put a bug in hubby's ear about unloading the property and 'white flighting' it out of the area. and, no, the riff raff is not exclusively 'minority'- it's just trash. these people pimp young people out and run drugs and throw wild parties where adult men urinate off the porch and they slur karaoke.

i generally refer to those folks as 'white trash'- and that's what got me thinking i suppose. you can give folks money and a nice place to live- but you can't give them respect and decency. being poor doesn't mean being trash and it doesn't mean you have to be soul less and emotionless- the substance abuse does that. which brings me back around to my thinking and not really having a good answer. there seems to be a whole lotta folks with too much time on their hands- from teenagers to crack heads- nothing to do and a whole lotta time to think about making a quick buck off the backs of others- whether it be their offspring or the taxpayers. no, i am not kidding- the bitch across the street pimps out her kid. anyhoo, i'll bet dollars to donuts that there are taxpayer social services involved over there while they make money off the system. and it's the kids who pay the ultimate price. it steams me.

our social services in this country are about as successful as our health care system- if that gives you any idea. these both exist purely to perpetuate jobs for the middle class. in fact, most of our 'system' exist solely to perpetuate jobs- profit over people- from the health care to education to social services. there isn't a bit helpful about any of them. the middle class has been 'educated' to the standard of living where walmart country chic is haute coutre and nascar is the sport of kings... really... there are so many people out and about here in my area- i keep asking- where's the recession? apparently, no one here got the memo because everyone in the greater binghamton area is out walking, driving and shopping as if summer vacation started early. that's a whole lotta folks with a whole lotta free time.

there are too many people and not enough jobs- and that's not something you'll ever hear on the msm networks. with more efficient computer systems and robots- and so much cheap labor elsewhere- we really don't need the middle class widget makers anymore. and we only need so many folks to flip a burger at wendy's. look, i am a fairly generous person but i have little to no sympathy for social services sponges. if you are going to receive services, 1) you have to be tested regularly and randomly for drugs and alcohol, 2) you must look for a job and get one in a certain time frame and if you don't- your ass is out there volunteering for a certain amount of hours every week, and 3) you get random visits from social workers if you have kids- to insure that you clean your damned apartment and put curtains up to the window and you don't have 150 people in and out of your home.

if we are going to perpetuate the capitalistic, consumeristic ideology- then we are going to continue to have a large swath of the population who are sponges. the folks who use services correctly are not the ones who are the issue- the people who are wandering around the streets texting and cell phoning their next deal- are. why would anyone attempt anything meaningful when they have no reason to? why would they give a damn about their neighbors if they don't their own children? america has had this ugly secret for a long time and refused to acknowledge it, but we have more of the broken screened, weedy grass, people on the front stoop being obnoxious folks than the white picket fence, flag waving crowd. the middle class is shrinking and truthfully, the folks who are problems now- their numbers are growing.

perhaps that's the real reason our rights are being eroded by the dozen. the 'haves' in power see the 'have nots' as a real problem in the coming years. unfortunately, for the rest of us- there is no where else to flee to...

annoyed

2010-05-07T13:39:00.002-04:00

i know it's me. i am 'in a mood' as usual- and i accept that. i can't quite grasp why i should respect a piece of cloth as if it's holy. i am talking about the american flag for starters. i think my biggest issue that i am currently struggling with is the one where americans don't have clue one what it means to be an 'american.' for some reason unknown to me, there is a really large contingent of crazies and sanes in america who genuinely believe that one has to 'speak english' and be white to be considered an american. and, there's a really large contingent who firmly believe we need to respect the flag and worship it i guess- as a holy relic of americanism- because of those who fought and died to protect it. apparently, the flag embodies our alleged freedoms.

look, let's pull our heads out of our asses here shall we? there are generations of american citizens who have accents. i'd hazard a guess all of us do- upstate new yorkers spread our a's like nobody's business so that water really sounds like 'wahter' and we all recognize a southern state accent or a midwest accent. so, whatever on the accent. as far as 'speaking english'- seriously? i'd posit that 90% of white americans don't speak grammatically correct english at any given time and i don't suppose you can really call our dialect 'english' as the queen's english anyway- it's american english. perhaps we should all learn a bit more about our first language before we decide to force everyone within earshot to speak it. besides, many folks along our borders speak fluent spanish- as american citizens- that doesn't mean they don't speak english. my guess is that the fact that there are signs and whatnot in spanish, french and english along our borders to the north and south- it just makes life easier for all of the folks who live there.

no one is coming in hordes to take away the suvs or mcmansions american suburbanites- please don't be fearful.

as far as the flag and what it represents- it's a fucking piece of cloth that every country has to represent it to the rest of the world. the folks who died in various wars and conflicts did not necessarily fight and die for american freedom. most died for corporate interests and their freedom to profit, profit, profit. mmmm.... a case could be made for the revolutionary war, the civil war and the japanese invasion of pearl harbor during world war 2. other than that, sorry folks- those precious folks died for profit. so, spare me the rhetoric about god and country and all of that happy horseshit.

the flag is not a sacred relic to be cherished- it is a symbol of solidarity- which is sorely lacking in america today with the tea bagging tea partiers and their ilk seeking to divide and conquer america for the wasp contingent. good luck angry white folks- there aren't that many of you and a whole world full of brown, black, yellow and the whole rainbow of folks who are on their way up in spite of your efforts to keep them down in abject poverty for your profit. your way of life is ending by the very means you fight- evolution.

american doesn't mean wasp. it doesn't matter that that is who started the america we know today. the people of america decided to share america with the rest of the world a long time ago- at least idealistically. realistically, we know that was a bit tougher. americans used to be known for being fair- people of action for sure but the populous was always held in high regard for generosity of spirit and home. now, we fight to keep folks out- that's pretty selfish and mean spirited and we wonder why folks abroad dislike us. fyi- it isn't because they are jealous. anyhoo, i am beginning to believe that there are many in america who 'get it' and who are working within their own communities to make a difference in spite of the right wing hate groups. i have said it before- i genuinely hope that right wing conservatism goes the way of the dinosaurs. fingers crossed that evolution is a bit speedier than that though....

weights and measures

2010-04-26T19:06:00.002-04:00

i have been debating whether or not i should delete this blog. for all intents and purposes, i don't write anything of any merit over here anymore and i have been debating whether i should chuck it all- all 2500+ posts worth or whether i should just delete some and leave others- or leave well enough alone. any thoughts?

plant life in my window

2010-04-23T07:14:00.004-04:00

my amaryllis and flats of beans and squash

spring is lingering...

2010-04-19T11:35:00.002-04:00

unusual weather for us here in upstate new york- one day it's 85 degrees and the next it's more seasonable. i am not fooled though :) i am going to try to take some pics of my flats- i have beans, squash, tomatoes, peppers, pumpkins, peas and the like starting in the window- not to mention an amaryllis that thinks it's jack's beanstalk :) i started a few new crochet projects and updated a bit over at the other blog- i need to make time to update etsy and whatnot- so, between that and sneezing (pollen counts are high here- it even said so in the paper) and swollen glands- i'll be around :)

public service announcement

2010-04-15T17:09:00.002-04:00

my mother was an abused woman. my aunts were abused women. i had the potential to be an abused woman. luckily, i am not. every day in this country, a woman dies every 4 hours at the hands of her significant other- often it is after she has left the abusive situation. this information could be helpful to prevent women from even getting into a relationship in the first place...

yardwork

2010-04-13T09:24:00.001-04:00

i keep putting it off because it's april and i shouldn't have to mow.... but i have to.... sigh....

completely perplexed again

2010-04-09T09:59:00.002-04:00

is it me? it probably is... it usually is... why is it that folks don't have any notion of roles and boundaries? is it a cultural shift? it's an absolute lack of common sense that's for sure. let me explain...

i believe everyone deserves a helping hand when they are down- i am pretty generous in that regard- but i am also not stupid. look, if your family member or friend is able bodied and down on their luck- by all means help them out if you can. if that family member is able bodied and lazy- or can't manage money- cut them off. seriously. it is not your child's inalienable right to live the life you provided for them indefinitely. at some point THEY choose the quality of life they lead. YOU should not be providing for them if they are of age and on their own. and, i firmly believe that you should not be providing for grandchildren either. nope. it's the parents' responsibility.

i know i am going to take flak for this- but people need to take personal responsibility for their own lives and you are not doing them any favors or teaching them anything if you take that responsibility. again, everyone needs some help once in awhile, but if it has become part of your life- cut it out. i read the paper this morning and the advice column had a blurb on a daughter taking care of her parents and brother- in his 40's- because they can't manage money. tough shit. they are all able bodied adults who work- they lose their home- it's on them. perhaps living in the car for awhile without the comforts they enjoyed would drive the point home better.

look, basic shelter, food, water, and clothing are the necessities of human life. anything beyond that is not a right. seriously. people want a certain lifestyle- THEY should earn it. period.

recipe share

2010-04-06T20:46:00.003-04:00

i tried this one out and really enjoyed it- i'll tell you my version and give you the one from the cookbook :)

i wanted a sweet/sour or teriyaki style flavor- and i simply used what i had on hand- i cooked brown rice and i already had cooked roast pork- i thought about chinese food and what they serve in their dishes- and cabbage came to mind- but i had brussels sprouts. broccoli and sprouts are part of the cabbage (brassica) family- so i threw some broccoli in too with onion and the pork. the recipe called for marinade chicken- so, i just made the marinade and threw it in with the veggies and pork to flavor them- i simmered and reduced it down so it wasn't too juicy- as i wanted the pineapple sauce. anyhoo, the end result was pretty tasty but i should have gone heavier on the garlic for my taste. if you try it- let me know how you liked it :)

teriyaki chicken drummettes with pineapple sauce

24 skinned drummettes
1/2 cup sugar (i use brown sugar)
1/3 cup water
1/3 cup soy sauce (i use reduced sodium)
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 teaspoon gingerroot, grated (i use ground)
1 clove garlic, pressed

combine ingredients with chicken and marinade for about 8 hours in the fridge. remove chicken and reserve marinade. place marinade in saucepan and boil one minute. remove from heat.

coat broiler pan with spray and place chicken in 350 degree oven for 50 minutes or until done- turning and basting occasionally with marinade. serve with pineapple sauce.

pineapple sauce

1- 8 ounce can crushed pineapple, in juice (i used a 20 oz. standard can and double the recipe)
1/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1/4 cup cider vinegar
2 tablespoons ketchup
2 teaspoons cornstarch

combine ingredients and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture is thickened. yield- 1 1/2 cups

regrouping

2010-04-05T10:26:00.002-04:00

i hope anyway. my plans for today include- taking the garbage out :) baking bread, cleaning, and laundry. i enjoyed the weekend waayyy too much :) the sunshine and spring time- well, it gave me spring fever and hubby and i watched the boob tube, went price comparison shopping at the nearest grocery store- and exercised. and i made a few crochet squares- which i posted at the crochet blog and fan page on facebook.

had my two morning cuppas and i definitely need something to soak it up in the ole' stomach... so, off i go....

love me some van morrison

2010-04-01T11:47:00.003-04:00

i am so into 'into the music' right now- love 'and the healing has begun'...... i could put that on repeat all day.... if you follow the link, you can listen.... apparently, the official website for van morrison is currently down- which is a shame.

just a thought- or two

2010-03-31T18:03:00.002-04:00

perhaps, if these 'real americans' spent less time wasting bullets and more time 'pulling themselves up by their bootstraps' to look for a job... they could stop taking government issued unemployment checks and oh, put food on the tables for their families. and mayhap, if they want to 'see action', they should do the patriotic thing and enlist. i mean, we do have two whole wars that we are fighting.

as for big brother and dictatorship, no single administration moved us further in that direction than the bush one- patriot act allows surveillance on anyone at any time regardless of warrant and don't get me started on homeland security and the military commissions act. i am not enamored with the way things are going in this country either- but guess what? i don't need a gun to fix that- real americans go to the ballot box.

just a couple of thoughts......

um yeah

2010-03-30T18:25:00.001-04:00

because who the hell wants to live in kans-ass?

well said

2010-03-30T18:01:00.000-04:00

We had eight years of Bush and Cheney, Now you get mad!?

useless humanity

2010-03-30T17:07:00.005-04:00

why anyone would be proud to be an american is absolutely beyond me. don't get me wrong- i live here and parts of it are lovely- nature has a way of overcoming almost everything. but if you look at the big picture long enough- it ain't a pretty place. set aside for a moment the absolutely unaesthetic, drab strip malls and parking lots that are identical to every community from boise to biloxi or the mcmansions that are so generic inside that you may as well live in a few cardboard boxes glued together--- and look at the actual people of america. that's where things take a turn for the truly awful.

americans, by and large, have no idea what it means to be an american. or perhaps i was sold a false bill of goods- it's possible. i hear all sorts of blather about 'taking our country back' and 'support our troops' and lots of folksy anecdotes that are complete fabrications coming from the right these days. layin' it out in lavender here folks ;) the right wing is full of shit right up to their beady eyeballs. when i look around my own community, i see people throwing garbage out their car windows and cutting people off without signaling after tailgating for miles; i see people setting appointments with my husband's coworkers, only to 'dark house'- meaning simply not showing up as it apparently wasn't important; i see people complaining about not having money for living expenses after having their nails manicured and their hair dyed; i see people using services meant for the truly needy after having quit a job with the government that had benefits; i see people who deliberately take a low paying job in order to qualify for poor folks' new first home benefits; etc.,

i could keep going- you get the picture.

and i see people waving the flag and singing to jesus while strapping on bombs and guns and planning on wiping out innocent folks and their families- whether they be cops or family services providers. i see parents so disconnected with their offspring that they don't know- or don't care that their children are abusing and bullying other's children to death. i see people who consistently put profit over people and i see people deliberately obstructing anything that didn't come from their political platform--- on the basis that it must be bad- it's an idea from 'them'- i see a country so polarly divided ideologically that it's simply a matter of time before shots are fired and martial law is forced---- in order to give them a tangible excuse for their hatred.

i was taught that americans had generosity of spirit; compassion for people who had less than them- whether it be democracy or basic human necessities; i was taught that americans had independent, 'can do' spirit and were the action taking go getters of the globe; i was taught that americans protected their democracy against extremists- and that our bill of rights was for the people; i was taught that americans were brave and sought out the truth and didn't take things at face value; americans were free and we welcomed others to our way of democracy and freedom. now, i am no constitutional expert- but i am an american and i have actually read the document through twice- and no where in there does it say that the right wing is america and the left wing isn't. no where does it say that christians are americans and non christians aren't. in fact, it actually sets up checks and balances against those encroachments that have been eroded away by the republican party and their ilk.

what i cannot understand is how anyone can believe the palins and boehners and limbaughs. my personal thought is that these fearmongering bigots are not americans- although they claim to be. but my other thought is that there are a whole lot of other folks who can't be bothered to think of anything other than going to a movie or crappy service at a restaurant- when their children's lives hang in the balance of the next decade. but who am i to say? i have lived most of my life insulated from the culture at large- and i have no children of my own to worry about. should i be bothered to worry about yours?

i see this amongst my acquaintances, friends, family members, and total strangers on the street- and the only thing i can figure out to do is to hunker down and stay as clear from them as i can. and make sure i have a really good security system.....

back into the fray?

2010-03-30T15:25:00.002-04:00

i thought about getting back into the fray- i mean really- right wing christian militia groups and bullying kids to death in american schools while the right wing darlings deny stoking up hate rhetoric while calling for revolution in order to 'take back their country'- i mean that's juicy stuff. take back their country from whom?

fellow americans...

just sayin'....

illusions

2010-03-17T11:13:00.002-04:00

of grandeur and whatever else- i ain't got 'em anymore. i haven't been around much on any blogs- i just haven't had much to say. i know, it's shocking- but it really is true. perhaps with the advent of spring i will be more chatty- but i can't say ;)

i have been doing quite a bit of soul searching and thinking though. i think it's good to reflect and do some inner work once in awhile. unfortunately, in the throes of winter- it can turn to brooding- which is where i have been. so, the sun shines and i am on the path to a better mood :) mom and i have been turning some things over as we come upon current events of interest- and i have decided that many in my generation- generation x as we have been dubbed- are pretty much useless. yep. many boomers are too but at least that generation had its share of volunteers and general do gooders out of the liberal hippies. the 'me' generation of the 1980's- well, that's pretty much what we are. how can i get what i want? how can this situation maximize benefits for me? how am i going to get my suv into the mcmansion i just had to have?

yep. i graduated from a class of i guess 280 kids or so- i would love to see how many of them don't have their heads stuck up their asses and who are looking progressively towards the future for their children. or themselves even. i know quite a few of my peers who have never married- perhaps because they couldn't see past themselves to find the right person? not for me to say...

i know a handful of folks from my high school days and a few are good souls- i could rake a few over the coals but what good would that do? they have live roughly 38 years on the planet and haven't changed much in that time- or at least the 20 odd years i have known them. i really hope that the current generation unplug from their ipods and take a break from tweeting long enough to see that we have generally fucked things up on this planet and far from having an ever easier time of it- it is going to get rough right quick. technology isn't the cure all for everything and indeed, as i well know, is distracting. we cannot sustain our way of doing things- and i am not simply talking energy- more importantly, growing food and using water as we have over the last 100 years or so.

generation x is in active denial- i just hope that their kids- or nieces and nephews or whoever- aren't.....

my morning cuppa

2010-03-17T10:47:00.003-04:00

i love me some morning cuppa with a splash of active denial from folks i chat with on facebook :) yep... gotta go get some toast to wash it down.... but hey, spring has almost sprung here in the northeast and soon i will be starting my seeds....

'of thee i sing'

2010-03-16T07:48:00.003-04:00

i watched 'sons of anarchy' last night with hubby on the netflix. we seem to be drawn to gritty dramas like that- we also enjoyed 'deadwood' and 'the shield'. what struck me- i was rooting for the bad guys. now, i am sure that's what the writers intended- as they make the bad guys partially good and the good guys- well, bad. the atf agent is played quite well by ally walker and she gave me much to think about in this age of border wars with canada and mexico- and the fact that we still have the odious guantanamo bay.

what is it in the american psyche that allows the dissonance between innocent until proven guilty and gleefully watching someone arrested and tased on 'cops'? from the nightly news to the dozen or so 'law and order' episodes to the ads on the sidebar on facebook calling for fbi applicants, our nation has become a police state. oh, most of us don't believe so- but in america, we hold people without legal counsel and we trick them into talking without one. i am most definitely not pro death penalty- not because some of these folks who did indeed commit heinous crimes shouldn't pay the ultimate price--- but because our track record with jailing innocent folks isn't good.

our justice system is beyond flawed- when you have the patriot act and the military commissions act and hundreds of other laws on the books like the draconian 'three strikes and you get life' laws- well, appeal is tough. and if you do the crime, i absolutely believe that you should do the time. i guess i just have an outmoded sense of justice- i believe that if you are innocent you should be set free.

and, i don't see things in black and white. i see myself sitting in that chair- and know that i wouldn't want to be interrogated for hours on end without my legal counsel or forced into a van in the middle of the night to be spirited away while my loved ones didn't know where i was. guilt isn't supposed to be proven in the streets by arresting agents or officers- or in an hour's time on a tv show. but it is- and america is not a land of liberty.

ch-changes....

2010-03-09T10:09:00.000-05:00

apologies to david bowie....

i had a conversation with a blog buddy of mine the other day about the rapidity of change that feels as if it occurred over the past decade. in fact, we both agreed that it felt as if we missed a couple of decades somewhere and ended up here. now, in all probability, we didn't :) but it sure feels that way. both of us are fairly adaptable and i, personally (and i suspect he too), love new technology. not all of it will i use- but hey, i think tools to assist in the world's peoples communicating freely- well, it has to be a good thing. and i am not crediting martha stewart for that one ;)

anyhoo, i say quite a bit that the more things change- the more they don't. and that's oddly true too. reconnecting with folks from the past may seem like a good idea- to catch up and to find out what's been going on in their lives and so on- but in truth, it probably isn't. at least in my case. what i have found over the years is that- human beings don't really change at their core. who they are at 18 at the core- is who they are at 38 or 48 or 58, etc.. now, that's not to say that they are the same people- the outside stuff does change- but the values they decide on or that are instilled in them- stay fairly consistent. at least in my experience...

i don't know that i have quite figured out the human species yet though... we are a strange breed. many of us have families who love us but who we don't know how- or don't want to- communicate with. it's baffling to me how many people out there are relieved to move away from their parents and basically write them off and out of their lives for no better reason than they are annoying- or boring. really? these folks gave you life and nurtured you- stood by you during rough times as well as good- and because you are so very busy and self important living your life- you leave them be. nice.

i understand dysfunctional families all too well- i lived in one. i have been fortunate to have at least one viable parent- and i am thankful for that. i see folks from around the globe who have lost their family and/or friends through war, famine, drought, natural disasters, etc., who would most likely give anything to have them back- and we, here in america, throw our families away in the pursuit of selfish interests. haven't wrapped my mind around that yet.

when you look at america as a country- there are some positive changes taking place in pockets- but i don't think you can look at it as a unified country anymore. we are imploding and folks are desperately trying to actively deny that we are. a nation is only as good as the people that makes it up- and i really don't see americans as good people. we are an egotistical, narcissistic lot who wants what we want when we want it and the rest of the world be damned. if we think that you may threaten our lifestyle of fast food and mcmansions- well, we'll just blow you to smithereens with our video game toys so we don't actually have to get our hands dirty- and we can sleep at night pretending we haven't killed anyone of any importance.

hey, if they ain't a wasp- they don't belong on the planet- right? i suppose that's why we can ignore our loved ones with no conscience- and why we don't work to communicate with them while we all share life. it's easy to disagree and use it as a wedge to keep us apart. it takes courage and growing a set to put aside our egoism and self interests and make time for what is really important- human relationships and family. it is my belief that the folks who will survive climate change won't be the wasps- or the western world- we will take until we can't take anymore- it will be the cultures who have a belief in sharing and working together and who believe that ancestors and elders are worth something.

and that's change i can believe in...

heirloom seeds

2010-03-08T09:57:00.000-05:00

good information here

love it!

2010-03-03T17:08:00.001-05:00

thanks to my buddy pagan sphinx for this one.... i could use a good, urm, stiff drink.... :)

good grief! beware the ides of march...

2010-03-03T16:50:00.003-05:00

so, march is coming in like a lion for me- and not just in the weather sense... i can't say when i have been more mentally exhausted and i must say- i don't like it one bit... luckily, they say that bad things happen in threes so i must have reached my quota by now.

i really need to regroup myself and take a deep breath. things are settling down for my sister at least- she is safely ensconced in her classes and keeping up with her schoolwork and we are putting a positive spin on her crap ass job putting her to part time as a punishment. she wasn't hired for saturdays- and she was hired for the day shift- 7a-3p- and she can work 6 out of the 7 days a week but because she can't work saturdays- she loses a day of work. yep. the woman said to her 'well, you are going to go on to bigger and better things and make more money'- uh huh- in two years buttcrack. sigh. but she is persevering. this will give her a chance to have some time to breathe and as long as she can keep the job- she won't have to look for another part time job. all's good.

i decided to pick her up on her late night once a week as the bus is unreliable for some reason. other than that- and mom worrying- life is settling down. mom worries about her eating and sleeping and keeping the pace. so, i pick up the slack because the woman is decrepit as shit. she tries- but she tires easily- so i do the standing and cooking and she does the sitting and chopping. it works. i don't. and i am glad for it at this point. i have been unsuccessful in my quest for a simple, no brain part time job. apparently, folks want you to do full time work in a part time time frame and pay scale. fuck off is what i say. so, after a mini meltdown- i think i am ok. i have been so very angry at the way shit has changed so quickly- and not for the better. allegedly, modern life is supposed to be time saving and easier than our forebears. i think i'll take the scurvy thank you very much. geez... did i mention the topper was getting pulled over for running an orange light? did not get a ticket though- hubby's good luck must be rubbing off because left on my own- i'd have ended up in jail... he pulled me over to warn me. nice guy. i'm thinking goldmine for them because after i pulled out, two other people were pulled over further up the street. sigh...

did i mention march has kind of sucked so far? i am exhausted..... and tom cat tells me coffee is pricing up.... sigh....

of tempests and tea parties

2010-02-23T05:50:00.001-05:00

i have been thinking in broad strokes lately--- and conversely, i have been hunkering down and working on personal issues. it would suffice to say that i am just plain exhausted. i have a feeling many folks are worn down and worn out by life- and it just shouldn't be that way. there really isn't any reason for it either- but for the greed of a small percentage of the entire human population. of course, we see it on a global scale with price gouging during disasters; private contractors simply stealing money allotted for projects to help folks; the financial implosion across the world, etc., etc.,

i started to think about what that means for me- i have to constantly be on the alert for my financial institutions levying fees and fines for any and everything; i have to pay fees and surcharges on any government or utility 'privelege' of using- more for simply using electricity in my home or renewing my driver's license; i have to be on the alert for disreputable gutter companies or price shop to not get taken advantage of to have my gutters replaced; i have to worry about taking my car to the garage for a check engine light coming on so i don't get ripped off; i pay pretty close to double for groceries than i did 10 years ago- and i have to worry whether or not my food has been genetically altered or filled full of antibiotics--- or has some viral disease like mad cow or fish fungus. whew!!!

not to mention- we have a horribly broken government system from the local governments on up and are constantly fighting against our neighbors, colleagues, and often friends and family members against a dangerous and regressive ideology. did i mention i am freakin' pooped? when you live with the stress of waiting for that other shoe to drop- and put other life losses on top of all of the above- i think we have a pretty fair idea of how most americans are living these days. even those of us who haven't lost our jobs and homes- are kind of waiting for the whole shebang to collapse and anarchy rein- and we all lose everything. it's that kind of decade i guess.

anyhoo, had to have mom's sink fixed and was lucky enough to have a buddy who could do it. got me thinking about capitalism and whatnot- and yes, i do need to have the car and gutters fixed. and, i am still looking for a part time job to pay for it... welcome to the western world where suburbanites want so badly to keep their mcmansion gated subdivisions safe for their 2.3 kids and dog and suv- that they join tea parties because they are promised a bag of lies. we, the people, have all been sold a bill of goods- the american dream- and the fact that we have awakened from that and can see that it amounts to owning swamp land--- is lost on the leaders of the tea bag movement and their minions.

the fight has just begun- and i hope that upcoming social civil wars don't devolve into actual bullets flying. and, i also hope that evolution speeds up a bit and the conservative mindset is just a painful blip in the human history.

not liking february

2010-02-19T19:02:00.002-05:00

usually, this status is reserved for january and august- two longest months of the year imo. but, this february just plain sucks. i have been battling not getting sick- or not giving in to the sickness at any rate- as well as life stresses and it is wearing me out. i am just plain tired of being cold and looking at gray skies.

i think for me- the biggest issue is- i don't much care for being an adult. nope. i don't like having so many cares and responsibilities and there are moments when i just plain don't want to do what i know i have to do. but, being and adult, i suck it up and do it anyway. i don't have a choice. sigh. so, i apologize for whining so much but i need an outlet and i could just stay away--- but i don't want folks to worry without a word. there has been loss around the blogosphere and folks go virtually missing only for the blogosphere family to learn they have passed...

so, i am still here and working through my funk and sinuses... looking forward to spring.....

back into the fray

2010-02-16T11:43:00.001-05:00

it seems i can't stop myself from getting sucked back in- this is exactly what i have been trying to say for quite some time- only this person actually provides links and research...

the economic elite vs the people of the us

my february of discontent

2010-02-16T06:11:00.000-05:00

suffice to say- it has been a rough february thus far. not all stress is bad and there has been both- personally and on the world scene. and i have not been all that chatty. it has been increasingly difficult for me to find anything at all to say to anyone and i have hunkered down instead hoping to somehow get myself back on track. two weeks in and i have not been entirely successful.

so, today i began to think about disconnect- how i long for it and how easy it seems to do for most other folks in america's modern culture. i haven't quite caught on as to how to go about it- the disconnecting from reality and life. most of us have no idea where our food comes from- for many it comes already prepared from a restaurant and may as well simply appear out of the ether. most americans don't have any idea that our meat comes from supersized agri-farms or ocean pens that pollute the water and shorelines or that the main source of our fruits and veggies these days is central and south america.

many folks don't realize that we are transitioning to unmanned drones operated by a soldier half a world away who can drop bombs destroying an entire village and be home in time for dinner with no thought as to the repercussions of his joystick and red buttons. so much like a video game.

i suppose what really got me to thinking about our disconnect with the real world is death and dying. i know, i know, i am hopelessly morbid but as i get older, the impending demise of my parents and my husband's parents looms closer. plus, one of my blog buddies recently lost his mom and the blogosphere lost bro tim two weeks ago. it hits home quickly. there was a time when folks could process all of this in real time- families attended the bodies and laid folks to rest. now, it's almost like they haven't even lived- let alone died. we make a phone call and our loved one is whisked away to a funeral home to be dolled up for the after life and placed in a casket lined with silk like they are sleeping. they are whisked away to be cremated or buried and that's it- better hope you don't need more than 3 days leave from work 'cause that's usually all you get and it's back to the 'normal' routine.

it is weirder online and in the entertainment biz- take heath ledger for example, he is forever young on the big screen and it's almost like you can reach through the screen and those moments are still there. when i go into facebook, or over to blog of revelation, there's bro tim's smiling face looking back at me- and his words are still there frozen in time. i could very easily pretend he is simply on vacation.

i don't know whether technology is a help or a hindrance in human development but i do know that we, as a species, globally, are at a crossroads. our love for the here and now and for bigger and better- and cutting edge technology- cannot continue unabated. we have to begin to put some thought into our future and not just live here and now. while i don't believe we should cling to the past, ala conservatism, i do think that there is something to be said about learning from it. we need to reconnect to the basics- people, nature, life. or there won't be any left.....

getting back on track

2010-02-11T10:54:00.002-05:00

i have to admit- i am in a pretty good funk right now. i don't know if it's because it's february and cold and snowy- or just the stress of life in general- but i am not feeling the magic. i don't want to do anything and everything seems to be a hassle. since i can't curl up in a ball and die- i suppose i will have to put my big girl panties on and deal with it. sigh.... in the grander scheme of things i have life pretty good. especially compared with many in the world at large. it is really tough to remember that when facing taking my mother out in this weather because she somehow got an eye infection and god forbid they put an otc eye medication out there. there are topical antibiotic creams for everything else- but not eyes. and i have been procrastinating something fierce on the job search. sigh... i so do not want to have to get a part time job... especially in a tight job market where there are folks who need full time work to feed their families. but that isn't the reason i don't want the job- i don't like working with the public. if i could get a job that put me in a back room somewhere to make widgets, that would be grand. but, that's not the way life is. i realize i am complaining and whining- and i will eventually get myself together. sigh... but not after sighing repeatedly at least 8 more times.... sigh....

peace in the valley

2010-02-08T10:19:00.003-05:00

suffering loss feels like getting punched in the gut- it knocks the wind out of you. that's what i felt like when i learned of bro tim's passing. and i feel guilt at not knowing sooner, because i haven't been keeping current on my blog buddies' posts or really even circulating around the blogosphere much lately. i don't know that i have even wrapped my mind around the fact that tim is gone. i have blogging in some capacity for a few years now and in that time, i have found many kind, generous people; people who believe strongly in humanity and fairness and compassion. i have been lucky to belong to this network of bloggers and call them my friends. that isn't something that i take lightly- and anyone who reads here or has read here knows i don't make friends easily. enemies, on the other hand..... ;)

i don't remember exactly when or how i made bro tim's acquaintance- i believe he commented here and that was it- we were off to the races... i made the trip over to his blog and found out he was a 'churchie' but that he had peace signs all over the place and his posts didn't sound like a typical right wing 'churchie.' i was intrigued that he hadn't tried to convert me- and so began our friendship. there is no doubt that tim was a christian- he loved god and jesus and he didn't shy away from that. we talked scriptures and rhetoric and dogma and he didn't mind that i was a heathen at all. he was like that- inclusive. he would go out of his way to understand where i was trying to go in a post- not an easy task especially when i rant and sometimes he would go back to his place and post a response that i couldn't help but agree with.

bro tim was an activist and advocate for all of his god's people- gay, straight and beyond, women, children, minority groups- hell, he even defended the right when he believed they were right on an issue. he didn't back down and he didn't shy away but he was always willing to apologize when he felt he needed to. i admired his courage and conviction--- and integrity.

most recently, we had reconnected on facebook. i think it was a fun place for both of us to leave the ugliness of reality and war and essentially the world's issues for a time and just be. some of my fondest memories will be the strategy sessions for our cafe over the chat and the moments when chat would pop up and he would tell me 'quick, i have a pink cow for you' :) he knew i liked the colored cows the best in farmville. he was my blog buddy and my facebook buddy but most of all- he was my friend. i miss him terribly and there will be a hole in my heart for a long time.

namaste bro tim.

there are no words from me

2010-02-07T11:16:00.001-05:00

i lost a really good buddy of mine

winter

2010-02-03T10:41:00.001-05:00

good lord! could my doldrums get any worse? my head is foggy; my sinuses hurt--- and i have no motivation for anything. plus, it's f*****g cold. sigh.......

oh- you mean civil, meaningful discussion

2010-01-29T20:10:00.001-05:00

indeed.

mr. obama goes to washington:

'The day "went very well," Boehner replied later. "There are issues we do agree on" and Republicans will work to find "common ground."

We should "set aside perhaps the things that the president believes in that we philosophically don't, but if there is some common ground we ought to go ahead forward with those," said Rep. Eric Cantor, R-Virginia.

Friday's meeting, he said, was "the kind of discussion, frankly, that we need to have more of."

guess what betmo is going to try?

2010-01-28T20:27:00.002-05:00

espalier

yep.

state of my union

2010-01-28T10:19:00.002-05:00

i am sitting here wondering.... i watched the first bit of stewart last night and he skewered the left. as he should. not that it will do one bit of good because the left is as bought and paid for by corporate interests and lobbyists as the right- but good for him. but i guess i wonder why more folks on the left aren't sticking up for what they believe in- rank and file i mean. us.

we have lived under the notion--- for at least the last 40 years or more--- that the left is bad. why? because the right told us so. the right allegedly stands for tradition and individual freedoms and less state intrusion. but facts tell us that this isn't true. in fact, the right wing agenda has stood on a platform of government secrecy; erosion of civil liberties; corporate greed and profit over people's rights; environmental collapse; replacing fact with myth,..... you get the point.

on the left, we allegedly stand for civil liberties for all men and women and ethnic groups, etc, social services to provide basic human necessities such as food, water, shelter, health care, education and safety, regulations to insure preservation of natural, and intellectual resources and preserving the notion that anyone can be anything in america.

um...... color me perplexed why we aren't more vocal? why we cower in shame to be called 'liberal' as if we don't love our country and traditions and family as much as the right- why we allow our 'side' to be shouted down time and again. why we don't wake up and see that it is the left who has no representation in congress- not the right who has successfully infiltrated the democratic party.

we can pin blame all day long on president obama- apparently, the man is the dart board for everyone. but no one is taking a good hard, long look at our congress critters- or our school boards- or our governors- or state governments. folks, look- the right is going to win in november. it's that simple. why? because the left has not- or will not- wake up to the fact that this isn't simply politics. the right wing- from the elected folks on down to our neighbors- hate us. they hate us simply for existing. i don't think i can overstate that. they will vote with their ballots and guns but they will vote. everything that has happened over the last 10 years or more will continue on--- because the left doesn't get it. we moan and gripe about obama while the pelosis and reids and nelsons and..... whoever- vote for their private interests. they don't give a rat's ass about you and me- they simply want to maintain the power structure.

so, until the left wakes up and realizes that we are already engaged in a civil war of ideology that does indeed 'trickle down' to the rest of us- well, life will go on much as it has. meanwhile, the glaciers continue to melt and we continue to drill, baby, drill for our suvs and mcmansions all the while blaming the wrong human being.

not quite noah

2010-01-25T10:47:00.002-05:00

but it's raining pretty good. the drainage ditch is working pretty well and i cleaned out the storm drains around the property- there's a lot of water... always nice to have leaky gutters during a downpour. sigh.... flooding in the area due to lots of rain in a short time and the melting ice and snow runoff. guess i had better get used to it as the northeast gets warmer....

who knew?

2010-01-20T16:56:00.002-05:00

holy crap! i need a part time weekend job. you would have thought i was applying at homeland security. jesus h. christ! many places have you fill out online- which is fine- but they not only have you do an application--- but an assessment questionnaire also. i am not an idiot- it's a personality assessment. you also have to agree to drug testing and background checks. to work at a fucking grocery store or retail chain. really? seriously? i started the process this morning- and after about 45 minutes of driving to a few places- it became obvious i should just come home and log on.

4 hours later and i did 4 apps online and 3 on paper. sigh. now, you could submit a resume- but some places want you to fill out an app also- so why bother doing both? i am exhausted. no wonder folks prefer unemployment. all i want is extra money for household repairs. some folks actually have to run this gauntlet to survive. i am just shaking my head.......

bye bye media

2010-01-16T17:06:00.001-05:00

NOW on pbs

i watched the whole program and, while i was happy to see that there are a few out there who know what it takes to maintain freedom and democracy, i became increasingly saddened by the thought that there are more people who don't give a damn or won't engage. mostly because of taking for granted that our republic will always be free and ignorance of what civics truly is. we have become a nation of ruling class wannabe's- we have always attempted to emulate our 'betters' while pretending to relate to 'the common man.' the truth is- we have a corporate ruling class staffed by our politicians who are generally handpicked to run by the party. our entire system is broken, broken, broken and the majority of americans are not even cognizant of that fact.

america has ceased to be a democratic republic- thanks in large part to the conservative ideology and desire to maintain a permanent majority and in second part by the liberals who have succumbed to greed. just an fyi- next time on now--- the growing number of rightwing democrats who believe in pro life. just thought you'd like to know.

" We live in a time characterized by a refusal to remember."

2010-01-16T16:53:00.003-05:00

the right is confident of victory. scoff if you want- but progressives and left leaners are insulated with other true believers. they believe that everyone can and will see the right for what it is. but no. most believe in 'politics' and believe in the election system. i don't believe in any of it. it is horribly broken. but don't take my word... and i hate being right--- mmm... correct--- but i have unfortunately been vindicated once too many times

bill moyers journal

"There were hands in the air in Washington this week, but it wasn't a stickup. The new Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission, appointed by Congress to find out how America got rolled, began hearings this week. These four are not the victims of one of the greatest bank heists in history - they're the perpetrators, bankers so sleek and crafty they got off with the loot in broad daylight, and then sweet talked the government into taxing us to pay it back.

Watching that scene on the opening day of the hearings, it was hard enough to believe that almost a year has passed since Barack Obama raised his hand, too -- taking the oath of office to become our 44th President. Even harder to remember what America looked like before Obama, because we've also been robbed of memory, assaulted by what the Nobel laureate Czeslaw Milosz described as a "fantastic proliferation of mass media." We live in a time "characterized by a refusal to remember." Inconvenient facts simply disappear down the memory hole, as in George Orwell's novel, "1984."

President Obama's made plenty of mistakes during his first year, and we've critiqued them frequently here on the JOURNAL, but hardly anyone talks any more about what happened in the years before. He inherited from George W. Bush the biggest financial debacle since the Great Depression, along with two unpopular and costly wars, and a dysfunctional and demoralized government."

update

2010-01-11T13:07:00.002-05:00

i updated the crochet blog and etsy- if you want to take a peek.... i am currently working on a purple and pink hearts throw for valentine season or whenever.... i will keep you updated. the new year is starting out pretty good- the inlaws' visit went well and we all had fun. they even made a 'snowman' :) as we had some snow. it was cold and snowy while they were here but not a lot of accumulation. we have since rectified that and have about 3 or 4 inches on the ground and it's colder than a witch's you-know-what here. ;) i don't need any more pron spam in my inbox. if i get one more pfizer ad.........

anyhoo, i am going to schlep out and get a part time job this year. there are many home improvements we need to do at the rental and one salary isn't going to cut it. i am only doing part time so i still have time to see to mom- so, it'll have to do. wish my sister luck in her job search- she is aiming to switch jobs as hers pretty much sucks. keep warm and consume copious amounts of hot tea and cocoa. i intend to pop in from time to time :) and i am still at the peace tree and sirens chronicles on tuesdays.

wonderings

2010-01-06T17:04:00.002-05:00

it never ceases to amaze me how obtuse folks can be- the ability to live in denial is a strong one. i hear all of this hoopla about how 'obama failed america' and that the obama admin sold out. um no- not really. obama didn't run on a progressive ticket. nope. he is a middle of the roader politician who will veer right occasionally should the need arise. i had no false illusions. i voted for dennis kucinich in the primaries.

still, how folks can heap blame on one man for everything wrong in america--- when he inherited it in the first place and there are good things happening domestically and foreign although not as quickly as i would like--- and not blame congress is baffling. obama is not the leader of the democratic party. neither is nancy pelosi or harry reid. apparently, it's some guy named chris van hollen. what reid and pelosi are--- leaders of their party within congress.

and, let's face facts--- they are the ones responsible for the abyssmal health care bill; the continued funding for the foreign wars; the draconian police state that america has become, and the economic implosion we are living through. congress alone has the power to make laws for the entire country- that impact the entire world. the white house has other powers and we should indeed hold the white house accountable for the foreign and domestic powers the president holds. but, obama should not get the blame for everything.

americans have been polled and polled and polled over the last few weeks- and overwhelmingly what the polls show is that folks are not optimistic about our future; are not interested in the rethuglican war cries and fear mongering; and not happy with the dems at this time. what i am hearing is 'america is in it's empiric death throes' and folks are not happy about going down on a sinking ship. doesn't have to be that way but it's like trying to find your way out of a wet paper bag i guess. most folks don't realize that they don't have to continue to perpetuate the system.

what the ruling class doesn't want folks to know- we have real power. yep. there are about 3 billion of us to a few thousand of them. that scares them and so they resort to the fear mongering and the police state tactics and the creation of jobs in 'homeland security' to keep folks docile. they keep the structure of the election process intact while corrupting in the middle and making the whole thing rotten- but folks still keep voting as if it made any difference.

denial is nice. it calms one down in the face of overwhelming despair and panic. and it sure beats taking meds. but it doesn't solve anything. neither does the paralysis of despair. human beings as a species really don't deserve to continue. we take the right to perpetuate our way of life over any other on the planet simply because we can. it doesn't make it right or fair- but we do it because we are the strongest species. we are eradicating other species at such a fast clip that we will eventually eradicate ourselves. and that's fine by me.

we had the ability to live side by side in harmony with the other species of flora and fauna on this planet and the greed gene took root and here we are. i think that the earth deserves to throw us up and out and start over. and perhaps this next time, she will think twice before allowing a species such as humans evolve.

could we save ourselves? yep. we have the tools and we have the knowledge of what we need to do. what we don't seem to have is the ability to shake off the greed even in the face of disaster. perhaps those of us who see will be the ones who survive and humans will once again be able to live in balance with nature. but given that that would take faith in human nature- i don't look for it to happen.

new year is here

2010-01-05T08:17:00.001-05:00

i guess i wonder why it feels like the middle of last year? it certainly doesn't feel like the same time last year- the endless waiting for the bush cabal to be out of office.... the hope that things were going to look up and get better. i'm not feeling that guarded optimism i had last year at this time.

but that doesn't mean that i am not going to come out swinging.... here's the deal...

the health care bill that will eventually become law--- sucks. sucks on so many levels i lost count but two main points come to mind

1) i don't like being mandated to do anything- and i like it even less being forced to have health care or have to pay a penalty to the irs. really? this is the DEMOCRATIC plan?

2) there is no international terrorism. nope. at least not in the way our government would have us believe. it's absolutely fascinating that so many people swallowed this lie. there have been 2 instances of 'terrorism' on american soil that allegedly came from the middle east- both within less than a decade of each other and both in pretty much the same spot. there are folks in the military industry (because it's really just a corporation with saluting) who have come out and admitted as much and they have been dismissed as 'conspiracy theorists.' that's a laugh because the conspiracy is happening within our own government.

the terrorist groups exist within their own countries- most terrorist acts within america have come from right wing fringers- britain has the ira- the hot spots in the middle east were hot because it was a guerilla civil war. the uss cole bombing? well, how can it be terrorism when we had our warship in yemen?

anyway, if the official story doesn't make sense- folks should question it. most of what we see going on around the globe is a direct result of our global policies. by 'our' i mean the western world not just america. naj recently posted about something that caught my attention:

"Now a word with my non-Iranian readers: I don't need you to cheer Iran on it's unravelling "revolution"; I don't want you to wish our "rebellion" success; I don't like it when you wear green symbols and act with more zeal than is of your business! What I wish you did is to just be aware of what is happening in Iran such that in your DEMOCRATIC systems, you can influence YOUR politicians to do the right thing vis a vis Iran. And the right thing is NOT imposing sanctions on the people and holding secret talks; and the right thing is to NOT allow Israel make threats on Iran while expecting Iran to disarm; and the right things is to not decontextualize what is happening in Iran, because you think Iran's connected to your life through the oil umbilical cord!"

i see it all of the time within the left wing blogosphere- hurrahing when protesters in iran or monks in burma take on the government; praising them for standing for democracy against tyranny- and then within the same paragraph making excuses for the democratic controlled congress who came up with the bullshit mandates in the health care bill while systematically eliminating anything good in it. really? look, the ruling class here is the ruling class- parties mean little or nothing. what we need is a global revolution- and i am not optimistic that that will ever happen.

but someone else is- hence the 'terror scares' to increase the already heightened police state right here within the american borders. crime is down, according to a current fbi report, and i fail to see why we need the continued tasing and paramilitary measures employed by our extremely flawed penal system. right now, we have a system that incarcerates people at one of the highest rates in the developed world---- to make money. at the expense of others.

profit over people does not make peace. we can kumbaya all day long and wish with all of our hearts for peace on earth and good will towards men. but, as long as the global ruling elite run the show in league with the corporates- it can't be. certainly something to think about.

happy 2010

2010-01-02T17:04:00.001-05:00

i will update at a later time but i wanted to wish the blogosphere a happy new year :) oh, and i am pretty sure that next year is a new decade- but i do hate to rain on a parade :)

just an fyi

2009-12-26T19:52:00.002-05:00

the rethug talking heads are bragging that they are going to take back elections starting in 2010- and they are probably right (i mean correct :) because blue states are leaking population and red states are sopping it up.

so- i don't know what to tell ya- just get used to living in a corporate police state i suppose....

winter is settling in with a vengeance

2009-12-26T18:25:00.002-05:00

the silly season is drawing to a close- and i must say, it has been a quiet one for me. purposefully. i can't say it was awful- i actually had an ok time of it- but not at all as exciting as the nation at large hypes it to be. it really can't be. my husband and me and the two cats makes for a really dull party. seriously. the inlaws will be in town this week- through new year's day- and that will be nice. i mean provided they make it through security at the airport- it could take them a week to get through. sigh.

so, i am working on finishing up a crochet project- you can take a peek over there at homebody crochet if you want- and i have a wee bit of laundry to finish up. pretty much my night will consist of playing the farm games on facebook. i really enjoy the one where you make your own cheese :)

i live on the edge- what do you want from me? i am finishing up with homer's odyssey and most likely will start al gore's latest- i got if for the holiday. anyhoo, it's just as well that everything is winding down and it's just as well i didn't go all out- everytime i attempted to prepare a goodie that i have made in the past- well, the results were not as expected. sometimes they were edible and other times not. so- perhaps next year i will be more in the yuletide spirit- but this year, i am content to just be.

can't say as i am looking forward to the upcoming year- but i have to live with it- and so i will. snowed like a bitch last week- today- rain. no more snow on the ground- just wind and rain. sigh. my sinuses are going to give me a fit. just a wee bit o' round up at chez betmo. hope everyone had the holiday they wanted- let's celebrate surviving another year in the 21st century :)

happy winter solstice

2009-12-21T19:26:00.002-05:00

i set myself free this year. for years, baking cookies and making treats to send out in packages to friends and loved ones- was my 'thing' and i really enjoyed it. but over the last few years, 'the decade from hell' to be more precise, with the rise of the christian fanatics and christianity shoved down your throat at every turn- the season lost its luster. couple that with the corporate, capitalist greed and people trampling each other to get an xbox- well, i didn't give a hearty you-know-what if i ever 'celebrated' another holiday season.

and i say 'holiday season' and i also say 'happy holidays' because the whole month does not belong to one religion- and contrary to the adherents of that religion and their insistence that 'christ is the reason for the season'- he really isn't. early cultures celebrated the turning of the seasons for centuries- the equinoxes and the solstices were cause for feasting, games and family time- and yes, gifts. the current unholy corporatist greed fest is a largely 20th century invention- although things started downhill around the turn of the last century.

anyhoo, i decided that i was simply not going to participate. nope. i initially started out telling myself that the packages would be smaller- only a few treats this year- and i ended up simply sending the few gifts we are obligated to send. i hate obligatory gifting. yep. now, i am not a kill joy- i enjoy my egg nog and rum as well as the next person and i love the food from thanksgiving through ringing in the new year- but the ridiculous idea that one has to save up gifts all year and stuff 900 of them under the tree to make the season a happy one- well, it's ridiculous.

if we all think back to holidays that were special to us- one or two special gifts stand out; or playing in the snow with cousins and siblings; or aunt jo and uncle larry hosting the annual feast and the adults playing cards around the table afterwards. the gifts make the kids shriek with excitement but for the most part- they pick out their favorite toy and go outside and play. we could all save ourselves hassle and stress if we did what my mom did and picked from the top 5 things on the lists. those are the ones we want the most. and guess what? none of us always got what was on our list- and we all survived. imagine that. and now, we are the ones hosting the annual feasts and we should be the ones who know better about over gifting and obligatory gifting.

so, from now on, i am not gifting unless i want to- and i will feast and play games from thanksgiving to new year- and anyone who feels obligated to gift me because it's the holiday season- you can make a donation here in my name

arbor day foundation

happy holidays......

just an fyi

2009-12-10T23:03:00.001-05:00

blackwater had bigger role in cia than most people wanted to believe. and now, we have unmanned drones to kill people. nice.

chores

2009-12-10T19:27:00.002-05:00

i haven't been doing a great job with mine lately- although i do keep the laundry up and the floors vacuumed :) i find myself without much to say these days. i started this blog a long time ago- almost 4 years ago- and it's hard to believe. i was so very fired up and passionate about change- i shouted to the rooftops and beyond- we americans needed to wake up! and see what was being done in our names.

well, many, many folks did. and they took to the streets and they voted for change- about 2 years ago. and then, they took to the streets about a year ago- and voted again. and yes, there has been changes- good ones too. some of the more egregious sections of the patriot act have not been renewed and let's just say- we actually have an FDA again, albeit an overworked one. but, many things remain the same.

america is still under siege from the right who has hijacked the airwaves and we are inundated with the rightwing slant in most, if not all, of our media outlets. we see the same negative, obstructionist harangues from the same small minded, 'profit over people' folks in congress, state and local governments, celebrities, etc., until all hope seems to be sucked out of our psyches.

we know that atrocities were committed under the cheney/rumsfeld regime- we have foreign folks investigating it as i type. we see that the rightwing driven corporates have sucked the lifeblood out of our economy in order to pay for their own lavish lifestyles and private armies. we see our neighbors tasering us as if we were all common criminals- guilty until proven innocent in america these days- and we see profiling and the rise of the security state moving up to join our military industrial complex.

and there's a christmas malaise- thanks for the term president carter- and we herd ourselves into the corporate big box barns and pretend that everything is merry as we worry about bankruptcy and losing our jobs and our homes- and our lives. and we know that the american dream is long dead and buried alongside the american ideals of independence, individual freedoms and democracy. but, like the grade schooler on the cusp of losing their 'santa claus real' belief- we cling for all we are worth to that dream- that ideal.

and it's causing some real cognitive dissonance. did i mention i don't have anything to say? how can you comfort a death in the family? democracy is dead- replaced by homeland security that created job security on the backs of american citizens. how do we reconcile that?

just an fyi

2009-12-08T08:24:00.001-05:00

i am still around- over at the tree today

funky friday

2009-12-04T10:48:00.000-05:00

mmm.... i have a serious funk going on today. i don't know why- but i am 100% done with the holiday season. yep. this is it for me. done, done, done. i am tired of the obligatory gifting and the false cheer- i am officially checking out. and i won't be doing gifts or cookies next year. i am done with that too. it used to be 'my thing' back in the day- a little burl ives in the kitchen and betty crocker fired up the oven. not feeling that magic anymore. while i don't hate the season, gifting is not the reason for the season- and jesus isn't either so don't even go there. this time of year was celebrated by the ancients because they had the time to do it. there isn't anything one can do in the cold dark- so, why not have feasting and games and comaraderie? now, that works for me.

priorities

2009-12-03T14:39:00.002-05:00

it's that time of year where folks have to scrape to come up with ideas for gifts for other folks. it's a real problem here in america- gifting. why? it isn't that americans aren't generous- it's that gifts have gotten exponentially more expensive and expectations have grown. see, most folks have everything they need and more than enough of their wants. or at least the folks i know- family and friends. there are plenty of things my husband and i want- but most of the stuff is expensive- furniture, electronics, etc..

and, as much as i love making lists for myself, i hate making gift lists. it carries a sense of obligation that robs the gift of any meaning. hate it. folks feel obligated to get gifts during the christmas season and i firmly believe that it's wrong. oh, i know how the custom started- folks would get together during the winter solstice and play games and bring gifts and take the time to spend with family and friends- because it was the only time of the year that they had it. they celebrated during the coldest, darkest time of year- and made it a time to look forward to.

can't say the same about the modern yuletide season. folks pretend to love it and secretely dread it because of the obligation thing. trust me- it's ok to say no. which brings me around to priorities. nothing steams me more than keeping a relationship going on a one sided basis. what do i mean? well, one party over extending to the other party time and again- and there isn't reciprocation. now, i am not saying that everything must be even steven all of the time- but let's just say that i have taken the white out to my address book more than once. i tend to be a communicator- ask many of my blog buddies and they will tell you that i am pretty good at emailing and i used to post multiple times a day right here in the blogosphere. what i don't do- continue communications with folks who only communicate with me after i have initiated. not worth my time.

which brings me to priorities- you need to make the effort. seriously. i don't buy the busy, busy, busy bullshit- or the 'i have kids so i don't have time' bullshit. really. if it's a priority to you to maintain friendships or whatnot- you will occasionally make the time for a 10 minute phone call or a snail mail card or a simple poke on facebook. really. and if it's an obligation or you find yourself making excuses- well, then it isn't a priority and have ass enough to end it. really.

which brings me to gifting and the whole 'consumer christmas season'- i don't really want your gift if 1) you feel obligated 2) it's a token 3) it's crap in a box with a bow. i would rather have conversation- or simply some time. and it doesn't have to be at christmas. in fact, i would rather it be in august when there is nothing going on. really. most folks feel stressed and harried and exhausted by the end of the 'season of joy and giving' and i really believe it's a shame. because it isn't what it started out to be- and we all have the power to change that.

laughter is the best medicine

2009-12-01T17:57:00.000-05:00

courtesy of my buddy diane :) enjoy :)

Moms in Group Therapy...

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand, and whispered, "Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's pick up Peter and Willy from school and get some dinner.

winter is almost here

2009-12-01T10:12:00.003-05:00

we had some snow showers this morning and it's finally cold. now, normally, i don't wish for cold weather but i have to say- i don't really dig the 50 degree very, very damp and chilly weather that we have had so far. i'll take cold over damp any day. gearing up for the holiday season- and by that i mean i am going to get packages ready to be sent next week- and then i am done until the cooking starts. we try to stick to a very minimalist ideal- i don't decorate much and we don't gift much. we eat plenty and share ourselves with family and friends in the fine pagan tradition. i celebrate the winter solstice and completely embrace the concept of spending the dark, cold downtime of winter with family and friends- playing games, sharing conversation and feasting. :)

i don't do the consumerist christian thing. so- enjoy. i will.... :)

not online much

2009-11-23T17:49:00.000-05:00

i am too busy being thankful :) i will be at the peace tree and the sirens chronicles tomorrow- i will be busy making homemade pumpkin and apple pies also. so, you know, enjoy! :)

is it friday already?

2009-11-20T15:41:00.002-05:00

i have no idea where the week went. one minute, i am bitching about stupid drivers and the next- it's the friday before thanksgiving. whew!!! i know that thanksgiving is celebrated around the world at different times by different nations but ours is my favorite holiday. always have loved it since i learned 'over the river and through the woods' as a kid. even in florida, it gets cooler this time of year :) and the air takes on a different smell and feeling. and it's so nice to switch perspectives to what we have versus the deficits we rack up in life. i have really tried to be more thankful this year- all year. not easy to do- and i have failed at some points along the way- but overall, i am so very thankful for the life i have. and the people i have in it.

thanks to all of my blog buddies- here in north america and beyond- you all are treasures :)

no wonder the car companies went bankrupt

2009-11-16T17:17:00.001-05:00

they made such sucky suvs- that they don't have turn signals and their gas pedals get stuck.

fyi, if you are an suv- or any other type of vehicle on the road in my neck of the woods- and you get behind my little red car and want to attempt the crowd maneuver to make me go faster- i am a bitch.

odds are i will tilt the mirrow so i don't have to see you crawling into my back seat--- and i will go much, much, much slower when you can't pass me. yep.

if you feel the need to tailgate, get yourself some help for your lack of time management skills and leave sooner.

good song

2009-11-14T22:32:00.002-05:00

i really liked it when i heard it in the 'kill bill' movie

"Goodnight Moon"

There's a nail in the door
And there's glass on the lawn
Tacks on the floor
And the TV is on
And I always sleep with my guns
When you're gone

There's a blade by the bed
And a phone in my hand
A dog on the floor
And some cash on the nightstand
When I'm all alone the dreaming stops
And I just can't stand

What should I do I'm just a little baby
What if the lights go out and maybe
And then the wind just starts to moan
Outside the door he followed me home

Well goodnight moon
I want the sun
If it's not here soon
I might be done
No it won't be too soon 'til I say
Goodnight moon

There's a shark in the pool
And a witch in the tree
A crazy old neighbour and he's been watching me
And there's footsteps loud and strong coming down the hall
Something's under the bed
Now it's out in the hedge
There's a big black crow sitting on my window ledge
And I hear something scratching through the wall

Oh what should I do I'm just a little baby
What if the lights go out and maybe
I just hate to be all alone
Outside the door he followed me home
Now goodnight moon
I want the sun
If it's not here soon
I might be done
No it won't be too soon 'til I say
Goodnight moon

Well you're up so high
How can you save me
When the dark comes here
Tonight to take me up
To my front walk
And into bed where it kisses my face
And eats my head

Oh what should I do I'm just a little baby
What if the lights go out and maybe
And then the wind just starts to moan
Outside the door he followed me home
Now goodnight moon
I want the sun
If it's not here soon
I might be done
No it won't be too soon 'til I say
Goodnight moon
No it won't be too soon 'til I say
Goodnight moon

just an fyi

2009-11-10T07:59:00.002-05:00

at the peace tree and the sirens today- and probably facebook :) i am half way to the two story house in yoville ;)