Monday, November 24, 2008

why i chose not to

folks don't realize that it's ok not to have kids. you don't have to have babies just because you are in a committed relationship of some sort. it's ok to live in america and be married and not have children. it really is. too often i see parents in the community who 1) have no idea what it means to be a parent because they certainly aren't teaching the kids a blessed thing about interacting with the world as a whole- and in many cases ignore them altogether or 2) have no business being parents in the first place.

i chose not to have kids- actually it was a joint decision with my life partner mr. betmo- precisely because we did not want to commit 110% of our lives to teaching and nurturing and providing for other human beings. what i don't think many in america grasp is- kids are honest to god people. small and unlearned for sure- but they are people. they aren't accessories or blackmail pawns or mini companions to love you unconditionally out of your lonliness- they are people. they aren't heirs to your estate or a conduit in which to live out your unrealized dreams- they are people.

and if you don't do your job appropriately, these people grow up to be maladjusted, ill equipped to live in the real world- and perpetuate the cycle of poor parenting. i realize that there are many other problems families face- and organic mental health issues also. but when i hear about issues such as the loophole in the law in nebraska- and i witness what i do in my own neck of the woods working in teen services for a decade- something has to give.

blue gal has a great write up- go and take a peek.

2 comments:

Blue Gal said...

thanks for the link...very nice post.

Me said...

In my next life, I'm not having any either!