living in the moment

and wondering- why the hell and what the hell am i still getting my knickers in a knot about? this is going to be a blunt post with no sugar coating or sweetness- so if you are tender hearted or a pansy ass- skip it. i am a taurus- and i tend to be a bit stubborn. having been raised in what can only be said to be--poverty-- i also root for the underdog and do what i can to help. in my various capacities and employment incarnations- i took cpr and first aid every year for about 10 years. i don't claim to be a doctor- and i don't play one on tv- but i can honestly say that the constitution has no pulse. and- like the band of idiots talked about in my cpr class- we americans stand around waiting for someone else to start resuscitation.

george w. bush has pulled the plug.

chuck has pretty much managed to put all of the reasons why i have decided to try and just live my life the best i can- and fuck the rest. rampant and unabashed stupidity. ok- so we don't get quality news- stop blaming the media and go find real news. thousands of news outlets around the world- on the web now. can't speak french? learn. seriously. i have no patience for people who aren't seekers of truth and knowledge. this cabal has proven itself to be untrustworthy and unaccountable for oh- roughly 6 years now. stop living in denial and start searching. it's ok. it's called free thinking. you aren't waiting to be spoon fed the pap from the corporate media.

i have zero tolerance for anyone who buys into religion of any stripe- but because we, apparently, are a nation of christians- my contempt is quadrupled. you live in a country where education is mandatory. you live in the richest nation on the planet and have access to 24 hour a day information. you have access to all that the world can offer- and because you are lazy- you have shredded my constitution. that's right. christianity is a lazy slave religion- as are the other big 3. these religions preach at you and tell you what to think. they are divisive and misogynistic. they exist for the sole purpose of exploiting you and the rest who think exactly like you. they are money generators for the people at the top and are run by greedy and power hungry men. there is no excuse to believe in something that is clearly mythology and served whatever purpose it had back in the stone age. grow up. you don't believe in santa claus but you might as well because it is the same thing. there is no excuse for relying on others for our thinking or believing. there is no excuse not to learn for yourself. none.

fear is used as a tool- by the christian right and by any dictator worth his salt. these 'people' were 'voted' in by the religious right base and have used fear and secrecy to shred the constitution. any dissension is met with howls of 'unpatriotic' or twisting of words. and people in this country buy it. they buy it. they listen and believe and act on those beliefs. it isn't enough to live and let live and to be tolerant. in order to salvage what is left of this country- you would have to take these people out of the equation. there isn't the luxury of allowing these 'people' to be entitled to their opinions- unless you can amen like nobody's business.

so, my original thought was- why bother? what is left here to continue fighting for? take a good hard look underneath the facade and what do you see where you live? what kinds of people live in your neighborhood? who are the local leaders and what is the economy like? has the weather changed? did you go ahead and bbq and drive a long distance as many other americans did? i went to the grocery store today and saw a mini van with a license plate that said "gold star mom"- do you know what that means? do you care? do you think?

my plan is simple- i will live my life as peacefully as i can. i am striving to become as self sufficient as i can- and would love to go off the grid. i see the writing on the wall. food is getting more expensive and is often tainted. you may go hungry a few nights if you don't grow your own- much arable land is going to 'alternative fuels'- aka another way for the rich fat cats to make a quick buck. not sure what the future holds but with the irresponsible people of this country and of the world in power- i doubt very much global warming will be stopped. because of the willful ignorance of the few, the many have to suffer. the peace i feel in my life and in my heart comes from the knowledge that 1) we humans deserve to destroy ourselves and 2) once we are gone, the earth will repair herself and start anew. my hope is- whatever EVOLVES here next- will be more respectful and nurturing and less stupid and greedy and grasping than we as a species were and are.